Five things I ____ about dating

First let me start with an apology.
no this is not about pirates,
though I do think that it would be interesting
to yammer about dating with pirate metaphors and similes
and jargon all relating to dating.
And trust me I think I could do it.
but I'm kinda in a hurry,
so in order to avoid the injustice that either
topic deserves I'm going to skip my discussion on
pirates, and go straight to dating,
I know that's probably not on the list,
but it is on my mind, so following a short commercial
we will resume with the topic of dating.

Are you Bored?
Is your mind wasting away in front of a tv?
Or maybe a computer screen?

Well have no fear!
I have a Solution for you.
Trade in your Boredom for a wonderful
new inovation. BOARD GAMES!

Board games may not be new.
but many of them are.
check out the comments on this blog,
for the newest location of Across the Board Games.
(yes even newer than you think)
A great place for all your gaming needs.
They Can Cure Boredom
(and baldness I think).
shop well.

Well dating.
I think I shall call this blog Five things I love about dating,
but I don't know if there are five things I love about dating,
so I may call it five things I hate about dating,
or maybe five things I don't understand about dating,
or maybe, you can tell me what it should be called,
oh and by the way,
I'm not going to limit myself to 5
but I might run out of time.

#1 Selection.
How on earth is a person to ever even pick someone to date.
I mean, let's face it there are billions of people on earth,
and literally thousands that one could date.
where do you even start.
and once your there,
how do you know if your going the right way.
I mean I guess you just have to find someone that has anything that you like
and if you don't know anything you like you ask them out.
(problematic at best)
I hate the whole choosing process!

#3 I know this is right after one,
but the order is debateable,
though I've heard this is correct.
After you pick a person you have to plan a date.
(is this sounding like work yet? and nobody pays us for it)
ideally you can't just plan a date,
you have to plan it for your date.
(yep, problematic too). of course if we knew the person,
we wouldn't need a date to get to know them,
but, what are the odds of that,
I mean who marries the girl next door anyway.
Ok Jason did, but actually she lived across the street.
and so begins the whirlpool.
date to get to know some'un, get to know some'un so you can date them.

#3 b to group or not to group.
Grouping is good!
Grouping is Bad!
if you have a group you don't have to do all the work,
and by work, I mostly mean talking.
but other work too.
if you group that's that many more people you have to plan for.
and that many more people to coordinate with.
yes we're not there yet but coordinating is tough.
I mean really we date at the time of our lives when our schedules are most busy,

which bring me to number next.

#2 Asking
so let's say you found someone to date.
how do you ask them?
Do you know that there are actually rules about this?
It doesn't matter how free your schedule is,
I hear that the guy is supposed to pick a date.
and ok, I can see this sort of,
but girls don't always make it easy.
some girls are never free.
can you imagine,
a guy doing as much as he possibly can
and still the stupid girls that he asks out, won't
even take a few precious minutes out of their schedule to
let him have a date.
(it's not like they even have to do anything)
(granted there are things that would be nice,
but really just going on a date, it's not that hard)
(except of course all the things mentioned herein).
Actually this happened to me twice this summer.
I asked two different girls out,
and they both said that they "would love to" go out,
(I'm not making that up)
but neither of them was available for the date I picked.
(shame on me for picking a date)
but neither of them was actually ever available.
I asked and asked, and after three weeks I decided
that I must have miss judged them, they were not my type.
They were liars.
Ok maybe they weren't liars,
but still this whole process is hard enough,
and if girls are going to make it harder they should be avoided
(not that I have met a whole lot of girls that don't make it harder, but that's another story).

actaully the last two girls I asked out made it easier,
(in other words not impossible).
one actually gave me alternative options,
(let's not forget that I already had a plan, we were going to a party)
so I knew that she was available-ish,
but...
and then there was my other problem,
what about the party.

do you ask by phone?
cellphone? and how did you get the number?
I mean it's not that hard,
but does that make it kosher?
what about a letter,
maybe a registered letter.
do you mail it,
or put something on their door,
(what if you put something on their door, but you forget to sign it?)
what if you sign it, but forget to say who it's for?
what if you put it in their locker,
or at least you thought it was their locker?
do you ask in person?
what if they're never alone?
good grief how does one isolate from the heard.
what if the heard is other guys?
what if it's not?

I can tell you what not to do.
Don't isolate them by asking them to dance.

I personally like email,
but it too has it's draw backs,
can you believe some people don't
check their email?
asking is problematic.
I don't like asking.

And so I'm out of time,
you're probably out of time too.
but I still have two more items (at least)
#4 talk talk.

#5 do or do not

#4 talk talk.
talk talk talk. (that is one funny looking word)
what do you talk about?
what if they never start a thread of conversation?
what do you talk about?
what if they don't like your jokes?
what if they don't even get them?
what if your jokes really aren't funny?
what if you know them enough that you can't use good small talk.
You know where they're from, you know what they're studying.
you know where they live, and with who, and for why?
what if you already used your small talk, but didn't get enough info
to start your big talk.
and how soon do you talk about really cool, deep, stuff?


#5 do or do not
and then you do it again,
or do you?
I mean do you do it again with the same person,
and how on earth do you know,
or do you start over again,
(yuk!)
or do you do it again?

I just don't know,
what I do know is that I have at least five things that I hate about dating.
I just hope that it works out somehow.

GAMES GLORIOUS GAMES

GAMES GLORIOUS GAMES

Wow, am I long winded or what.
that was a really long post.
ok. ok. I think it looks longer than it is,
because I used different formatting,
but I guess that's just part of the game.
Speaking of game.
I do. I like games,
I like puzzles,
I like puzzle games.

some of my favourite games makers are
Ravensburger
Überplay
Mayfair
Milton-bradley/Parker Brothers/ Hasbro (can you belive they're all the same now)?
and fundex

Some of my favourite boardgames are
Settlers (the whole series (Mayfair/Überplay))
Backgammon,
chess,
Scrabble (hasbro)
Apples to Apples
Risk
Monopoly (they had to be here, I mean come on!)
1313 deadend drive
etc.

well thanks for reading
this message sponsered in part by board games.
do something fun. do it for your family, do it for yourself.
Ü

IN SERVICE TO OUR FELLOW FAST-FOOD WORKERS

I have decided that for my second blog,
I should do something really interesting.

I have not decided what that means,
but I felt like writing, so here I am.

I have come to the conclusion that blogs should contain cool stuff,
unfortunately the cool stuff isn't flowing yet,
so you get to read my ramblings while I try to
work this into something interesting.

I guess it must be time for a story.

I have the coolest best friend on earth.
he's a self made bazillionaire
and about the funniest person I've ever met.
ok, so he's not a bazillionaire, (yet)
but he is really funny.

One he decided that the good people of Arby's needed
umm, a little excitement in their lives,
and we were just the people to help them out.
(actually he decided that a lot, but he
did work there for a few years, so I guess he would know).

He did many things to help them -- from juggling knives
to suprise kitchen water fights,
(all of which I must add were done with the
utmost regard for the hallowed reputation of said Arby's)

But this particular night he wasn't working.
Why a person would want to go back,
when they spent their whole life there, I still have not figured out,
but we did. Perhaps his mom was out of town.

Sidenote: my friend is brilliant, but somehow he never really learned to cook.
By his own admission he would happily live on pop-tarts if he could.
Sometimes he even burnt his pop-tarts,
but then way day, a miracle (acutally there were two)
but anyway, one day he learned that you didn't have to cook a pop-tart.
and voila! no more burnt meals.ª

(The second miracle was that he got married,
and amazingly his wife is a really good cook.
---see ª above)

But back to the story. Through a chain of events that i
have since forgotten, we ended up at Arby's

And being the good samaritans that we are,
we came up with a plan.

It was a simple plan:
Reak havoc on the drive through,

Basically you pull up to the mic.
and you give your order in a really funny way.
Tonight the plan was to give the order while wiggling
his finger across his mouth.

after about as much as I could take,
with a straight face,
we were asked to pull forward to window
they were "experiencing technical difficulties." Ü ü Ü Ü ü Ü Ü ü Ü Ü ü Ü

Another friend of ours was working the window,
but oddly enough he was not amused when
Scott (my best friend) pulled up to the window and
repeated the process so that he could see.

It took a minute, but after a while we had done our job.
the good people of Arby's had been served.

So what's that moral?
I have no idea.
but I think it's a pretty funny story,
so there you go.
tune in next time for a swashbuckling good time
as we talk about Pirates
Arrrgh Matey!@

ME, MY BLOG AND I

This blog was inspired by blogs from some of my friends,
and because I have a lot of things to say.

I don't really reccommend that anyone read this.
It will likely be boring, and insensitive,
and highly oppinionated, but it might occasionally be good for a laugh,

I probably won't post very often,
but I will probably post a few articles each time that I do.

So first things first
Where did I get my blog name?
There are four parts to my blogs name
(yes I know that math was tough, but I eventually figured it out)

Warnser, Wonderful , Web, and Wonders

I'll start with the easy one: THIS IS THE WEB.

NEXT: Wonderful- well it may cause you to wonder, but mostly I just needed an adjective.

Warnser: This is perhaps the only part of the title that will get a decent explanation. (Oddly enough if you are reading this
blog, you have probably already heard the story,
but I'm including it anyway).

Some years ago I spent some time doing religious service
( a mission (to help bring people closer to Christ))
in a foreign country (Greece). In preperation for that service I
spent time at a Missionary Training Center (MTC). One of the things we learned at the MTC was how to write our names in Greek.
Unfortunately I had to miss class that day
(though technically I already knew how to spell my name). When I got back my name was on the board it looked something like this. GOUARNESR. (That was a lot tougher than I thought it would be (and if you can read it, it's probably still wrong)). When we met with the missionaries that had been in class we had a good laugh and I came to be known as Warnser (incedentally in their greek spelling thats not what it says (the 'S ' is in the wrong place)).

Wonders: yes I wonder about many a thing, but I also just like alliteration.

Here are some of the topics that I hope to address in coming articles.
Pirates, Signs, Admitting we're wrong, Girls, Food, Girls, insight and entertainment.

(or piracy, enter only, Being Right, stupid people, food, nice people, ktp)

Thank you for reading and have a great day!

P.S. I have decided to include some of my favourite key commands (mostly for my own benefit).
Alt + 129ü 148ö 153Ö 154 Ü 155¢ 156£ 164ñ 167º 169© 181 µ