Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Ugly Girls (don't shoot the messenger Ü)

There seems to be a lot of ugly girls. It's true, everywhere I turn I hear "I'm not pretty." or "I'll break your camera." or "I hate to be in pictures." Now I hear these things because I take a lot of pictures, both because of my church assignments, and for my own personal memories. But not only when I'm taking pictures, I hear it all the time. Seriously though, how come everybody is so UGLY?

I mean, I'm glad they say something, or I might continue in my uninformed ways, I might actually think they were pretty or something. What a tragedy. I'm also especially glad that I don't ever say it. I'd hate to be shot down by ugly tongue words from an their ugly mouths.

I did say it once: I said "wow, you look nice." And I'd have repeated my mistake if her good friend hadn't saved me. What I didn't know was that my words were a sword. And every time I spoke I cut this girl down. My saying how nice she looked, only proved that she was ugly all the times that I said nothing.

And then there's that other thing. You certainly can't tell a girl that she is attractive. If you do, then you of course are superficial (besides you have to say it a lot if you want them to believe you, because let's face it, everybody knows they are ugly). And if you do say it, and even if they do believe it to some degree or another, they'd rather that you tell them they are smart and other things that "they have control over."
It would be so much easier if I could just accept the fact that women are ugly, and yet some how I can't.

You would think as often as they say so, that by now I could listen, but I guess I'm a little contrary. I still think they're wrong. I still think I could prove them wrong, if I really had a chance.

Maybe it's the Greek in me that says I have to argue, or maybe it's the artist, that has to look for beauty, or maybe it's the ego, that thinks I could fix it help them get past it. Or maybe its just hope. Hope that one day there will be no ugly women. But then again, I'm struggling enough with the ugly ones, I could only imagine how it would go if they weren't. ;)


Cardine said...

All I can do is just laugh. I know that's not your desired response, but seriously. This post just brought me the chuckles.

And, I think you should freely tell people that they are attractive. I think that's what makes ugly girls realize that they are not. One problem is that some people ARE told what is wrong with them, and the bad stuff sticks a lot harder and longer than the good stuff. Especially if they know that what is being said is true.

In fact, that happened to me last night. I was told something about my appearance that was critical and that I know is true, and it pretty much hurt. It was like getting kicked in a bruise that was already there. Ouch. I didn't need it. All it made me do was feel badly about myself. It's not going to change anything about that problem, so why did it need to be pointed out? It didn't.

But way to see the attractiveness in people. That's awesome.

warnser said...

Actually it is. As long as your not laughing at me. Ü

Ouch. I'm sorry to hear that.

It's interesting how my blogs change over time, this one sure did,
and my "next" one has too.
(whether it actually comes next, now that's another story, but I think it will be interesting to see what I can do)

thanks for the comments/ insight.

Sarah said...

I chuckled, too!

First off, we have every right to shoot the messenger if he is also the one who authored the message. :) But, I don't think there'll be any shooting in this case.

Maybe these girls have some strange desire to be Mahona...? And they want you to prove them wrong? I don't know.

Now... why don't you think you'd have much of a chance with a "really good looking one"? You don't think you are ugly, do you? :)

Sarah said...

p.s Carrie, I can't think of anything negative that could be said about your appearance! Who told you such a thing... whatever it was? They don't deserve to be in your presence.

Cardine said...

Sarah - Yeah, I'm not sure why they said it. Stupid person.

warnser said...

Sarah- yes and no. Certainly if I said all girls are ugly, well I would expect to get shot. But instead I wanted to take a satirical look at the message that I seem to hear way too often.
But I wanted to try and tip people off to keep an open mind long enough to realize that there would be a healthy dose of sarcasm in the post.

I actually told some people that I thought a good photographer could prove them wrong, but alas they held their ground.

The irony is I have dated some really good looking girls, but most often it is while they still don't know how pretty they are.
And yes I'm sure I have my charms about me, but I can think of some guy (in fact we were talking about one of them) that the girls just flock to and that has rarely been my fortune/ dilemma.

still thanks for reading and enjoying.

JanD said...

When I first heard you did a blog about "Ugly Girls" I had two thoughts: 1) WHAT!!! and 2) "If you want to be happy for the rest of your life...."

We are naturally and divinely given certain characteristics. However, we are taught that our own characteristics are less valuable than another's. Again, WHAT!!!

One of the most difficult things I have ever done is learn how to live with myself--you know: my uniqueness, my quirks, my strengths, my weaknesses--just me.

The truth is (don't tell everyone it seems to be a secret) that WE DON'T KNOW WHAT BEAUTY REALLY IS (because none of us are pretty).

So, the moral of the story is "If you want to be happy for the rest of your life," never believe you are less than you truly are.

warnser said...

I think you should explain that a bit more.

julie said...

I wish I could have laughed, but I cried instead. I don't know if it's the cold I caught on my cruise or the immense lack of sleep and food today, but today has been one eye-opening, soul-awakening, gotta-change-my-attitude experience after another.

I totally think I'm ugly. I do. I've been thinking it all day in fact. This post came at a good time. Thank you.

And bless you for finding beauty in all people. I agree with Cardine, the bad stuff sticks a lot harder than the good, so thank you for trying to spread the good.

tearese said...

you often speak in absolutes, as if the girls you associate with are representative of all girls. I have never acted that way, and I like to think most of my friends don't either.
I mean, I might say, " I stand weird", but I certainly wouldn't say "I'm fat",or "I'm ugly", because I know its not true.
I think sometimes girls say stuff like that as a form of false modesty or something.

warnser said...

Yeah sometimes I speak in Black or white, but I did try to keep this post more based on tendencies and patterns than a statement of commentary on the whole of women kind.

I also think that some of the comments, especially mine help flush that out a little better.

As to false modesty, well I have some thoughts about that too.

I won't go into detail, but I really don't think anyone is profited by a put down, whether a person puts down theirself or another. And sometimes both parties end up being hurt.
False modesty describes itself vary well. It's a lie. And it's EVIL! ü

warnser said...

wow sorry about the mistakes in that one.

Anonymous said...

I agree some of it might be a false modesty. But I think that too often girls (and guys too) see flaws in themselves and feel like everyone can see them as well so in using humor or in avoiding the camera these are kind of acts of self defense. It may not be everyone but I know some do this.

Unfortunately I hear people put down themselves which really is hard to take. Yet, I know I must do it too sometimes without even realizing it.

The post is pretty funny, though.

Abigail Adams said...

Hm... Interesting post! Wow, it was thought provoking. Although - I really think that you SHOULD comment if a girl is pretty. It might bring you more luck! ;)
I know that every girl struggles with her looks. There is something that I have found helpful. I've noticed that when I am doing really well in reading my religious materials, writing in my journal, praying to my god regularly, and not judging and serving selflessly, I feel absolutely beautiful. It isn't that I have changed physically, but internally. It's like the beauty within show without. It's incredible! But when I am not consistently strengthening my relationship with God, I begin to fuss more about my appearance. It's so interesting! When we are closer to God, our divinity shows stronger, which makes us more beautiful, but when we are not doing our part to come closer unto the Lord, we become more worldly.

warnser said...

I totally agree.
When a person is good on the inside, The outside looks pretty good too. I really believe that. We feel different, and it's noticeable. I've noticed it before.
Anyway thanks for reading, and thanks for the comment.