Friday, May 26, 2006

On being single

I think this would be a good place to add a note about this blog,
this was a rather offensive blog, but it was not intended as such,
In reality this was mostly just quotes form various girls that I heard in the time directly before I wrote this entry. Not all of it is exact quotes, but that was largely my inspiration.

WARNING! This Blog could be read as offensive,
but that is not it's intent. Some (if not all) readers should probably start with my comments, or the Mathemagician's four points. Some amendments are likely forth coming. THIS IS NOT 27 STATEMENTS CRITICIZING THE WHOLE OF WOMANDOM. It's more a satire, or at least historical fiction, if read with a smile, it's a lot better.
Please enjoy. Ü

Why I'm single.As near as I can tell here are some of the reasons that I am still single.I know that this list is not comprehensive,but I think it hits some of the finer points.

First,It's my hands, I have no idea why, but I definitely don't have the right hands.

Second, For many years I have felt that it is more important to be debt-free, than to have a nice car.I still say it's logical, but lot's of girls really do care what you drive.

Third,I'm not Promiscuous, I've never seen myself on TV with my shirt off,I've never seen myself sleeping with lots of women,But listen to girls, when they see one of these guys,They go crazy for 'em.

fourthI'm not rude enough.I know, I'm probably getting better at this one.(worse in my eyes)but for some reason, many girls seem to prefer those who ignore them,or belittle them, It's true girls will say, "why can't we find a nice guy?"But I say, those who say that probably don't even see the nice guys that are often right there.

Fifth it's something about a belt and shoes,

Sixth.I don't have money coming out my ears.Near as I can tell girls like money,And while I'm not opposed to having money,it's not my top priority either.

Seventh. I'm looking for someone who is both open and honest. I know, it's not an easy thing, but deep in my heart I hope she exists. You know, someone who will actually tell you what they are thinking. Someone who will tell you what you've done wrong. Someone who cares enough about me,to help me if my thought process goes astray (i.e.; doesn't match hers). Some one who is willing to talk things out, if there is a problem.

Eighth.Divorce scares me.Probably the scariest movie you could show me would be two hours about a lot of people getting divorced.The numbers are ridiculous. So many people do it these days. I really never want that to happen to me.I hope to find someone that I can really communicate with. Some one that is not so fickle as to leave me when there is trouble,Of course things change, that is inevitable, but what ever happened to commitment.

Ninth.There are few things more annoying than when a girl won't receive your compliment.though right up there is the girl who constantly puts herself down.I have met very few girls that can receive a compliment. Thus very few girls that I could spend eternity with.

Tenth,I don't flirt very well. I suppose it would help if I was better, but I'm not.

Eleventh. I can't stand gossip. Or maybe more appropriately, I can't stand people talking about other people.But you know what they say, "telegraph, telephone, tell a woman." the last one is fastest, because it's exponential.I personally try to never tell a woman anything, because I don't think it is everybody's business.

Twelvth. I'm not gay. Gay seems to work better all around. The Gay guys like ya, and the straight girls like ya. Gay guys understand fashion, and gossip, and everything that girls want. I do not.

Thirteenth.Hormones scare me. Girls seem to have these infamous mood swings. Honestly, that scares me. Menopause and Pregnancy and bad hair days.

Fourteenth.Girls are manipulative.You've probably said it yourself.It's all about getting what they want. Not telling you what they want,but tricking you into doing it anyway.

Fifteenth.Girls love guilt.I don't.I don't think a guilt trip is very good motivation.It just builds resentment. But the girl does often get what she wants because of it.

Sixteenth.Girls are immodest.I have seen hundreds if not thousands of good girls who wouldn't know modest if it hit them in the face.They talk a good game, but they dress like they shouldn't. I don't want to see their underwear, and when I do, they loose my respect. consequently there are very few dateable girls.

Seventeenth.I'm not sure.I've been in some very good relationships, that somehow just dissolved.I'm not sure what happened.

Eighteenth.I don't have roommates. thus I live in a black hole like environment.I could easily count the number of times that girls have come to visit me.

Nineteenth.I'm awkward around women. they make me nervous. we live forever in stories, but not in their lives.

twenty.I don't like dancing.Well, not most of it anyway.I do see that under certain circumstances it could be fun, but mostly it's not.I don't like the music. I don't like the suggestive moves. I don't like having someone in my space.I don't even like the atmosphere.

Twenty one.I'm not going to kiss you on the first date.I'm not going to do it on the second either.I don't know when I'll do it, but undoubtedly it's after the girl wants it to be.

Twenty two.If your dating me, but spend more time with your other friends I would say that doesn't bode well.(true story, six years ago).

Twenty three, Communication. I can't say that enough.

Twenty four.I'm not much of a fighter.sure, I'll state my opinion, but if the line I have to wait in to get a date with you is too long, I usually just find another line.

Twenty five,I want to be attracted to the person.Not that I'm saying this is hard, but I'm sure it's still a factor.

Twenty six.I want to have similar interests.If interests, or ideas are different, then chances are it just won't work.Or at least it hasn't yet. I don't see why it would change.

Twenty seven, I can't marry a two year old.Nor would I. though I have to admit, two year old girls really like's unlike anything that I have ever seen's just too bad that they grow out of it.At least I assume they do. I guess the ones that flirt with me aren't old enough to tell yet.

there you have it,one for every year,though certainly not one for every mistake that I have made.By the way I know that grammatically this post has errors,I don't care.
I'm sure there are more reasons, If I knew them all, I would probably be married.but I don't, and I have to admit, some of the ones I do know, I just don't understand. But hey, that's not really my job now is it. If I said something offensive, please let me know,
maybe we can talk about it, and come to some sort of pleasant resolution.

Saturday, May 20, 2006

The odd man out

I guess I've always kind of been the O.M.O.
Often by choice, but often not too.

The other day Johnson got married.
Johnson was the last... well last except me.
This was my group.
This was my possee.
Well sort of.
These were the people my age,
but I spent more time with them than they spent with me..
They were generally pretty nice,
but I wasn't essential to the experience.

I guess things are better now. I'm still the O.m.o., I wasn't wearing green like everybody else. but they did come find me for the after party. College was fairly similar,
Almost all of my roomates were engaged, so people rarely came to visit. One year I had a whole building to myself. (12 apts. & 36 rooms, but just one tenent, me, the o.m.o.
I guess that's why I want a wife,
someone who has to spend time with me.
Yes, the gang is better now,
but they're all married so that changes things.
You know, married people are different,
sometimes is location, sometimes it't repsonsibility,
But I know that non of them see any of the rest of uss all that often.
So maybe now we have all become the odd man out.
I more than they, but all of us more than before.

Part II:Used, it's not as bad as it sounds.

The other day, Johnson got married, If you're reading top down, you already know that.
As some of you know, I do some work for weddings.
Actually I started my business, with weddings in mind.
I'll admit, some are better than others, but still I do weddings.
Now here's the odd part, Johnson and I go way back, but they didn't have me make the video.
But it gets even better.
Somehow, something went awry, they ended up showing the video on a very small screen,
I'm guessing it was between 9 and 12 inches.
Just two four blocks from where the reception was held I keep a 27 inch TV,
Just for this purpose, just one simple call, and it could have been theirs.
actually if they had given me a couple of days notice, I could have probably even scored a projector. But alas, I was not used.
But here's the thing, I like to be used.
I think people should be used,
Not abused, but used.
used still sounds bad, I guess I'll go on.
I like it when I can help someone else.
I like knowing how to do something, and when others know that I do.
In this case, I could have include the rental in their present,
but I guess ultimately I don't care that much about money.
I'd be happy to work for little or nothing,
as long as I knew my family had enough.
As odd as it sounds,
I guess I like to work.
(I know, I'm as lazy as the next guy, but I really do like some good work)
Even if I had enough money,
I would still need to work.
I guess I just like to help people out.
especially when I can do something well,
and also, when that is recognized.


I was laying on my back,
I was laying on my roof,
I was looking at the sky,
I was looking at the clouds,
It was peaceful,
It was pleasant,
I remembered a few of the things I like.
I like rainbows, and rain, and thunder, and lightning.
I like waterfalls, water fountains, and watershows, and streams.
I like Cliffs, and canyons, and mountains, and vistas.
I like gardens, and fruits, and vegetables, and open-air markets.

I think it makes sense

The hoopla has died down, and the companies are legal now, but are they really doing us a service. Or maybe the question is just how valuable the service is. I know that one's first reaction to this page might be violent, and/ or mean. But I guess I'm used to that. I'm not trying to offend anyone, in fact I'm not writing to anyone in particular. Well maybe one person, we were talking about this, and they said they wanted to read this blog. So here it is. Are edited movies better?

I know the obvious answer is yes. Less sex, less violence, less drug use, less language, less filth; Obviously better. 1 point for the edited movies. (heck that may even be 5 points). But I see a few more questions that need to be answered. Number one: who edited the movie? This might seem like a fairly simple question but I think it is not. Despite the legal aspects of such an endeavor, and yes I understand that there are currently legal methods or at least legally strong methods to do this, there are still many things to think about. I think the best solution is for the originators to edit the movie themselves. Actually I think it would be great if they would edit all movies (before they release them, but if not then as a second option). I'm not sure if airplane movies fit this category or not, but even they could use a bit more editing. If they are not in this category they are in the next which is officially sanctioned edits of a movie. This is still better in some ways, but we start to have new issues to deal with.

Oddly enough I do a little video editing my self, but not like this. Still, I know what this video editing stuff is really like. It's not easy, in fact it usually takes longer to edit the video than it does to shoot it. The next level of editing overlaps this one in a lot of ways. It is people like me who edit videos for other people. I try to stick to homegrown footage. At this level the first question is quality. Would you even want to watch the movie after the edits? Of course not all editor are created equal. But I hear that some are pretty good. To whose standard will the video be edited? It can't be hollywood's, or they would have just done it right the first time. I suppose if you have enough money you could get them custom made for your standards, But that raises another question. If you have a moral issue or even a comfort issue with something, should you really be paying someone else to do it? The last thing on earth I wanted, when I started my business, was for people to pay me to suffer for them. And that's exactly what this kind of a job would do. first you have to find the bad part, then you have to find it's start, then you have to find it's end... If you're really good at this stuff you probably only have to live through it about six times, you know, for each one that it's in there. And if you weren't so good, the ratio could be something like 20 or 30 to 1. Or you could just be sloppy, but then who would want to watch that.

As the law stands there are ways to make this legal. But the studio is not involved. Thus the studio see lot's of revenue, supporting themes, and ideas that the population opposes. In other words, for every edited movie the studio should and does still get the full movies value. Thus their logical conclusion would likely be, "Hey, make more movies like that!" Somehow though, that's not what I wan't, ok granted, I don't go to movies very often, even the good ones, but I would certainly like more of them to be more pleasant when I do. So what if you do like edited movies? Sometimes the story is good, and sometimes the production value, is somewhat valuable. But how do you talk about them? If you reccommend a movie, would someone else know which parts you skip? or would they know that you reccommend the edited version? Or that you saw it on tv? or would you even know?

One of my friends was telling me about this movie he'd seen, He remembered watching it growing up. It was very good. So one night he and his wife were sitting at home and it came on. Naturally, they sat down to watch it. It was good, and he couldn't remember anything bad about it. What he didn't remember was that the first time he saw it, it was on a local tv station. What he may or may not have remembered was that this time he was not on a local tv station. It didn't take long to realize that this movie wasn't the pleasant experience he had remembered. It was offensive. Fortunately, he had the sense to turn it off, but not without first being injured, both in pride and in spirit. He could have easily reccommended this movie that he thought was offensive. Nowadays, even tv standards aren't that high. I think they have an infinite limit on the amount of times they can use the lord's name, and they don't mind throwing in 'soft cuss words' at the drop of a hat, but where did this idea of soft cussing come from? Aren't all cusses offensive? aren't they all inappropriate? So what if the movie is edited, does that make it better? Does it contain themes that we don't support? Is the movie still about someone lying, cheating, stealing, killing, or other such things? Do they make movies that aren't? Do we know that people are living together, even though they are not married? do we know even more?

Because we don't acutally see something, does that mean we support it? I think we need to take a stand. Personally, if I ever have kids, I want them to be entertained by things that will re-inforce their values, not things that are disrespectful, not things that show ideas that I don't support as part of everyday life. I don't believe life is really about beer, and sex, and deciet. But it's hard to find media that agrees. Do I live in a bubble, or want them to? No. It's not like I don't know these things exist. I've lived in Europe, so I probably know better than most. But I do believe that these things don't need to exist, and I do believe that a person can have a perfectly fulfilled life without them. And I konw that hollywood likes to push the edge, they don't conform to our standards, they give us theirs (and they charge us for the right). There are just some movies that people shouldn't ever see, especially people with standards. I don't know which movies that means, but I don't want my kids to see something "Ok" at my house, and then blindly fall into the same not ok thing somewhere else. Ideally we should know what we are getting into before we get there, but if not, let's have the strength to stop the cycle, as quickly as possible. So here's my vote, lets have more good wholesome entertainment, and support it more.

Monday, May 01, 2006

The Graduation Dinner

I went to a really good dinner the other day.
No the food wasn't all that special, but there was plenty of it, but it wasn't the food that made the dinner really good. As you may have guessed it was a graduation ceremony, but it wasn't a typical graduation. There were no diplomas (not that most graduation ceremonies actually use real diplomas any more), but there weren't even fancy card board sleeves that could one day truly hold diplomas. This was not a graduation from a college or any other school, and yet I knew, these graduates had learned things that might just help them for the rest of their lives.

I can't really say that I know exactly what happened at the graduation -I was a few minutes late - but the parts that I did see held my attention very tightly. Ok I confess I like a good graduation. My graduation from college was really cool. I heard some of the most interesting talks that I've ever heard that day. I really can't understand why people would purposely miss the opportunity to hear counsel and advice from some of the greatest minds available. But celebration didn't even have some uber-wise person to give me as many secrets as they could, in under an hour.

Nope, it was just people, ordinary people. Ordinary people that I just happen to respect a lot. There were sixteen of them. Sixteen graduates, and their friends and their families. And when I got there, somebody was singing. They sang really well. I tried to be inconspicous. I was there for A/V support (I'm supposed to know about that stuff).
I set down my stuff, and went back to my car (I had a lot of stuff).

As I got back the group was lining up to eat. The host graciously added me to the front of the line, and we ate. Like I said, the food wasn't spectacular, it was a sort of pot luck, but I'm pretty sure that most of it came from this or that local business. Also I didn't really take time to savor what I did have, because I still had to set everything up. And so we ate, then again there were more musical numbers. Again, they were nice. Then came my part. I have to admit, I was nervous. A/V things have a tendency to go wrong, and I hadn't had time to test everything at my office (after all, most of my equipment was at the graduation). And so I started the presentation. I made a really good presentation. 250 photos, 4 really good songs, and sixteen minutes of memories for the sixteen people who had made it to graduation. I didn't take the photos, and I hadn't picked the music, but somehow, everything came together to make a powerful presentation, and I was the instrument that brought it all together. And it came together well.

After that I just sat back and enjoyed. But still, I didn't know what to expect, and what followed was not as I expected. More people got up to sing, once again, they sang very well. That was not unexpected, but when they finished, I heard a strange request: “Ok now give your book report.” I assumed the 'student' had missed the previous group meeting or something. Her book was passed up to her, and she talked about it. It was non-fiction; A book full of good advice. The book was appropriate, because this was a group designed to heal, and to help people. One by one they all got up. One by one, they told us about a book that had helped them. For a few of them it was just a book report, but for some of them, you knew, something had changed their lives. Some of them wrote poems, some of them wrote fortune cookies. But everyone had something to say, and one thing that everyone said was thank you. Somehow this group had changed their lives. Some changed more than others, and some would likely be back, but some of these people were truly being healed, at least in some degree. Three months together in a group therapy course, and the course was therapeutic.

I don't believe people should need therapy, but I do believe people do need it. I wouldn't dare try most the drugs prescibed for these things, but I wouldn't hesitate to get a little help. I really do believe that gospel of Jesus Christ is the greatest cure for any problem that a person could have. It is a great preventative, and a perfect cure, but sometimes we need a little extra help. Sometimes a professional can point us in the direction we ought to be going.

I still don't know why many of them were there. Ultimately, I don't care. It's sad that these things often have a stigma, because they really can be helpful. Why don't we applaud these people. For one reason or another they know that something isn't working, but instead of letting it fail, they fix it. We were never told that we were supposed to fix everything ourselves. In fact, from the beginnig, we were told not to. When Adam was first placed here on the earth, he was given someone to help him. When Moses could no longer hold up his arms, he was given two helpers. Often those who get help, get a synergistic effect; the sum of the parts is greater than their individual total. The sum of these people was Great.