Weak Things Become Strong

I was surprised. A friend told me she thought I could talk to anyone. I didn't know what to say. Ironic I know, but I was speechless. Talking has never been my strong suit. I mean I get nervous around people, well I used to. I still do somewhat, but I guess I never noticed how much I have changed.

I remember in high school, it wasn't my strength back then.

And then when I went on my mission, I thought I was pretty good,

You know, until one lady said "Elder Warner, you can talk!"

I was as surprised as she was, of course I could talk. Surely they had heard me.

But to this day, those Philippine women still maintain that something happened to me on Cyprus;

something broke me out of my shell.

But the shell wasn't broken, at least not completely. Many times since then I have looked out and said,

wow, what is my deal? Why can't I communicate? It sounds so good in my head. And usually it does.

But letting it out, that's a whole different story.

Still I can see that I've changed. Sure I still get nervous around pretty girls and such, but I am getting better. I have a lot of friends, and a lot of good conversations. I can see my weakness becoming stronger, and I like it. Sure I still wish I was better, but I guess I am on the right track.

I thought it would be interesting to share some of the tidbits I have gleaned about communication.

So hear it goes.

Like all good things it takes practice.

I asked my dad once, how he did it. He seemed to know everyone, and everyone seemed to like him. I knew it was a gift, but I didn't know that he had to earn it. I practically fainted when he said he used to be shy. If you've ever met my dad, you can probably understand, nobody's used that word to describe him in a long, long time.

Still he told me it was so, and he told me how he fixed it. He said 'One day I decided that I would set a goal: I would introduce myself to five new people every week at church, and before you know it, I knew the whole ward.' He started with a solid resolve to become a friend to those around him, and he never looked back. Some people find it hard to believe that he knows 1000's of people on a personal and friendly level, but I don't find it hard to believe at all. He's been at it for a long time, and not just because he's older but because he practices. He has made it a habit to be a friend, and to talk with people. I guess in someway I've picked this up too. I try to be a friend, and I think I'm getting better.

By small and simple things are great things brought to pass.

It's strange but sometimes the simple things leave the biggest impact.

I remember this girl, I used to pass her everyday, and as we passed she'd turn and say "Hello, sir." I'm not sure why she used the 'sir,' but it was funny, really funny, and it always brightened my day. We didn't need to stop and talk for hours, it was just a simple 'Hi,' still every time, the impact was huge. It always left me with a smile. I learned that sometimes it doesn't take too much, just let people know that you are happy to see them. A smile, a wave or simple hello, they're all simple gestures, but more often than not, I bet they do more than we know.

It is more important to communicate with people than with words.

Used to be, I was just a little thing (6 foot nothin' or so), but I had a huge vocabulary. I've always loved words, and there were always plenty of new ones to love. My parents tend to use some really good words, but it's never been a problem to ask what they meant. I got to the point where I knew a lot of words, but I still didn't really know how to communicate. It was strange, I had the tools, but I wasn't a builder. When I got older I developed new and different vocabularies. I began to specialize in things and learn the vocabularies that were pertinent to the various subjects that I liked. And all of this was good. I still wish I knew more words, and that my vocabulary had greater depth in a larger variety of fields, but somehow through the course I learned a very interesting lesson: It is more important to communicate with people than with words. It doesn't matter how good the word is if nobody is going to understand. It doesn't matter how much you know about something, if your audience doesn't care about the subject. If the audience loses interest, it doesn't matter what you say.

Some years ago a friend helped me to understand that the people I'm talking with are often more important than the things that are said. Without even pausing to say hello, already I was asking for his help. What I needed was important, but it wasn't more important than he was. He helped me understand that he was glad to help, but it's always nice to know that we care. The more people know that we truly do care, the more they tend to really care too. Whatever we say becomes much more important when we put other people first.

A friend in need is a friend indeed

Sometimes people need a friend. Not a pseudo-friend, or an acquaintance, but a genuine, bona fide friend. I have a friend who is so good at this. I've seen them drop everything, to help me in my time of need. Sometimes they just sat with me and sometimes they just listened. I learned that words are amazing if you use the correctly, but listening can be amazing too.

Speak once listen twice think a lot.

To paraphrase Ben Franklin, It is better to be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. Now Ben Franklin was not a man of few words, but he was careful with his words. I don't believe that his message was to keep our mouths shut, but rather to think about the things we say. Ironically enough, the more we listen, the better our talking becomes. Sometimes we talk too much (yeah I'm guilty too), but we don't say anything. The more I think about it the more I believe it: We should listen as much or more than we speak, and we should think about the things that are said, both by us and by those around us.

I guess it's true, weak things can become stronger. I'd like to believe that I'm moving that way. I hope my friends know how much I care, and I hope that I can continue to make more friends, and especially to build them. I may not always be the communicator the could, and yes sometimes I get nervous even with my friends, but I think the shell is breaking, and the Lord is helping my weak things to be a little stronger.

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And if men come unto me I will show unto them their ^aweakness. I ^bgive unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my ^cgrace is sufficient for all men that ^dhumble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make ^eweak things become strong unto them.

Ether 12:27