My My My (I mean my answers)

For those of you who might be new
I'm answering a post.
The Answers came from near and far,
but I, the Answer Host.
So here they are, if your confused
then read my former Blog

I posted this in the comments section,
but then I realized it was a mile long,
so I'm redoing it here.

(good ole cut and paste)

Ok brace yourselves.
Here it comes,
but remember, these are just my opinions.

Also I would like to add some comments that I have heard in various places.
To um round things out a bit.

1. Earrings
I think that the more an earring draws attention, The less it can be modest. As a follow up to that I think that an earring that might be appropriate for some shmancy formal function would lose some of it's modesty with a sweatshirt and Jeans.

Generally I'm not a huge fan of hoops. but I have seen varying degrees of modest in hoops.

One of my friends said she thought a girl ought to be able to wear hoops at least 1 1/2 - 2 inches around.

I think I would usually have my upper cap in that area.

I think the Thickness of the metal can make a big difference here.

Or the earrings' visual weight.

I saw some earrings that were much larger than this, but they were very thin. In fact I barely noticed them.

In this particular instance They did not strike me as immodest earrings.

2.
What is Tight
I like what has been said about tight Jeans. I guess I had forgotten about that part of the question.

I think if a person can tell where another person's belly button is,
then their shirt is too tight.
(Or in some other way not quite right... but that's another topic)
And of course anything that was good that was said by anyone else.
Ü

3. Sports
I guess I do see some room for varience in sports, but for me, I would try to be as consistent as possible.
I don't nessicarily believe that having an audience should give you license to play by less strict rules.
Actually I think in a way it should help you to enforce the higher ones.

I think it is possible to have "more modest" outfits, without significantly affecting ones' ability to perform or play.

And certainly if you are not in a uniform requisite situation, normal modesty rules should apply.

I guess this is sort of like my earrings answer. (you may see that a lot) Keep it on the court, that' what I say.

4. Swim away
For some reason society has allowed us to completely change the rules when it comes to swimming.
Because this is so so common, I suppose I basically accept it too.
But I basically agree with the things that have been said already.

Basically my thoughts are cover as much as you can.
and cover that too if you can.
I don't think everyone should have to wear shirts to swim in, but I not opposed to it either.

And as has been said, if your not swimming cover up. I think that's fair.

No speedos for guys.
I think a suit (for girls)
should cover more of the back,
And definately the belly.

But I don't really care about the number of pieces.

5. The Tan
Personally I don't really understand tanning. I don't always think it looks better, And I know people with serious amounts of skin cancer.
It scares me.
To me I think it's about health.
I know that there are people who really like tans. But I guess I don't get it. Yes I know there are medical reasons for these things.
Some people have skin conditions when a doctor would prescribe it. And sure the sun helps provide us with vitamin D, but for me the long term effects are more important than the short term ones.

Yes a little natural sun can make some people look better.

But I don't think it takes much,
and I wouldn't likely ever go tanning, or purposely try to get a tan. If I needed more sun, I would probably find something that I could do outside, Like soccer or something. I would want to use sunblock, and let the sun help my skin color if it could.

I have to admit though,
I like fair skin.

I like naturally "exotic" skins too.
But I like fair.

6. 7. & 8. Blanket statements.
I think there are a couple of principles that help clarify my thoughts here. (and maybe in other places in this blog too.

I know that some of this has been said, but I will say what ever comes to me.

P#1.
I think it is very important for people to be true to theirselves.

P#2
It is far better (more useful) for a person to talk to a person, then it is to talk about them.

P#3
We do not have lives that are designed to allow us to blame others for where we are. All people have agency, and all are expected to be accountable to themself.

P#4
people should agree to the activities that they participate in (such as kissing) see #1

6. Girls and dating.
See above.
I don't believe anyone should be passive in matters that are so important.
Aloof: Same answer here.

Flirtacious.
Well I guess I see it both ways here. I think a little flirting is usually a good thing. Too much can be well, too much. And if it's not happening then it's just that much harder for those of us that "Have to Act." or perhaps a better word is ask.

Active: see passive modify accordingly. ( I think these to are near opposites)

Assertive: She should be if she is.

Aggressive: I'm thinking not so much. I think there are plenty of ways to be involved, and even perhaps assertive, without being to aggressive.

Part two.
I will expound upon my general thoughts. I think people should be true to theirselves. I think it would be somewhat dishonest to act in a different manner while dating then you would plan to act while married.

I think it is very decietful to do things "just until you get married."
"Just until you have sealed the deal." and then to change your behavior. Yes it's true I think that the person you married should be more important, than the ones you date, or could marry.

I think this applies to how one looks, how one makes decisions.
and what things a person will and won't do.

I know this is not always the case.
And I can except it if my wife doesn't look perfect as she gets out of bed. Or even goes through a rough spell. but on the whole I still believe that we should treat our spouses at the same level, or a better one, than we gave them while we dated.

And the follow up to that is
That I think we as people have different levels on which we act.
I think in dating people (all people) should bring their A-game.
Give it a good effort, yes this includes me too.
I should shave more often,
I should get enough sleep.
I should try to not only be myself
but to be my best self
(yep I stole that)
( I should probably repent)

7. Holding hands.

I have heard probably the widest variety of answers here.

One apartment of girls I was visiting said that one of them was dating someone who obviously didn't like her much, because he wouldn't hold her hand. After all it had been four dates.

I see two things here.
First I thought he probably did like her, after all, she got four dates.

Second no matter how much they talked about him and his hands it wasn't going to affect his actions.
Talking about him was less effective than talking to him.

They said they were "sending all the signs"

I said, "well take his hand or talk to him about it."

I think communication is nice.
I really do.
If someone tried to hold my hand and I wasn't ready, I would want to tell them why.
I think that is only fair.
I think it is very important for people to understand that each person moves through a relationship a different pace. and different symbols (like holding hands) have different meanings to people.

People fall in love at different paces, and people have different expectations. But it seems to me that if you really care about someone then their timing becomes more important to you too. (especially if yours is quicker than theirs)
And of course communication. I think this blog shows quite clearly that everyone is different.
But if you don't talk about it,
and I mean with the person invovled, you really have no right to hold them accountable.

Yes you may be sending signs,
but maybe they don't know that one.
Ü
And yes all of your other friends might totally see it, but sometimes even if they are totally "into you" they might miss it.

Maybe they miss is because they like you. Maybe they are nervous.

I don't know why I miss signs.
(or as one of my friends corrected me today- body language) but I really don't have much talent here.
That's ok I guess,
but it doesn't make things any easier, for me.

I think that holding hands definately shows some kind of interest (you know, holding hands for the sake of holding hands).

The other side of the story is that I know of people would end a relationship if you tried to hold their hand on the fourth date.
I think again talking about things like this could be useful.

8. The Kiss.
I leader of mine said something like this "Kissing is not bad."
I agree, however I would add,
Kissing can be addictive.

I would say be in control.
and have boundaries.

To me a kiss is a symbol of serious commitment.
I don't give them freely,
I think they should be earned.

and of course see above answers.

Some Questions For Girls

I think it would be interesting for this post to be slightly more interactive.
I know I haven't been here often lately, but I think my excuse is decent.
But here I would like to pose some questions and hopefully get some answers.
The idea behind this is that I want opinions, not facts. So there probably aren't any wrong answers. In fact I think it would be especially interesting to get many opinions.
And maybe see where my opinions fit. But regardless of the answers, I definately want to know them. I was hoping to have a few more questions, but I guess some of them have ummm expired. For instance I tried this new shampoo, and it intrigued me, but It left me with more questions than answers. But I digress. So anyway I hope this is as enjoyable and as insightful as I think it can be, but if not please answer the questions anyway. Ü

How about I make eight?

Number 1
--The booklet "For the Strength of the Youth" talks about wearing one pair of modest earings (if one chooses to wear earrings). What does this mean. (I included the whole phrase on purpose but my initial focus is on the word modest.

Number 2
--That same booklet also talks about not wearing tight fitting clothes. What does that mean?


Number 3
Are Sports different?
Are there different rules for modesty while playing sports?
If there are, what are they? And what if you're not playing the sport?

Number 4
Same question, but a little different. What's a modest swimsuit? Maybe I should have said same question only deeper. Get it? And then there's the follow up; What if you're not swimming?

Question 5
Why do people go tanning?

Question 6
What is the girls role in dating?
Is her agency in any way limited?
What should she do? Should she be passive?
Aloof?
Flirtacious?
Active?
Assertive?
Aggressive?

Can she be some of these without being others?
Are there better words than the ones I have chosen to describe her ideal role?
And does her role ever change?
And if it does when?

Number 7
When should people start holding hands?
And what does holding hands mean?

And of course...

Question 8
When should people kiss?

I 'm pretty sure there was more to this question,
but it's gone now.

I actually had these in a different order,
but this order seems to work quite well, so this is how you will get it.

There you have it. I would think it was really wonderful to get a variety of answers to eack of these questions.
In fact I even welcome answers to some of the questions that I didn't ask.


Also, just so you know, When I feel that they have been sufficiently answered, I plan to write a tribute to mothers, and perhaps a blurb about JOBS - It's not what you think.
Anyway thanks again, TTFN
Warnser.

It was too long so I chopped it. (still to be read with caution)(AKA part 3)

No liquids for me,
no liquids, and no food.

Yeah, I had an IV, but I just don't think that's very satisfying.
And I got thirsty.
But I wasn't supposed to eat.
Sadly the hospital did not have the Food network,
or, if they did, I couldn't get it in my rooms. I remember being wheeled to surgery. But I don't remember much else. The Anesthetist told me he was going to do something, and appearantly he did, because the next few hours just didn't exist. I don't remember exactly when I woke up, But then there was nothing unusual about it. I was just in my room, surrounded by the same friends that had been there before, doing basically the same kind of things. The first couple of times that I awoke, I was very tired.

Usually I would go back to sleep shortly after hanging up my phone. Just enough people had my contact number to re- wake me when I would fall asleep. The doctor came by, he said things went well. He told me that I would probably end up staying there that night. I was pretty nauseas. I think it was the pizza, particularly the cheese that just hadn't digested yet. It was about 10 that evening when I decided to stay that night.

It was probably also about ten when I actually could have come home. I stayed one last night, and it was a very LONG night. I had no idea how slowly time passes when your leg weighs a little extra. I probably woke up a dozen times that night. I still wake up a few extra times each night. By about 1 a.m.

I was soooooo ready to go home.
Every hour or so I would wake up and try to figure out the quickest way home.
Early wednesday morning I called my brother. He was awake, but I think a little surprised to hear from me so soon. When I heard that I got a regular breakfast, that gave me a little motivation to stay. But I was pretty anxious. It didn't take me long to Make that meal a memory. Eggs, and potatoes, and bacon, three slices, and mush, and fruit, and everything else. The nurses were shocked that I was “leaving so soon.” But the hospital had nothing else for me.

I talked to my doctor one last time. He the surgury had gone really well. He also said he needed a refresher on my business, because he knew that the operating staff would have more questions. I've heard he doesn't have great bedside manner, but I guess that was never really my experience. He was plenty nice to me. And I believe my leg is as good as can be. So I ended my hospital visit. The food was ok, but nothing to write home about. The service was good, And I liked my surgeon. I hope to see him again, but next time... maybe I'll get to be the one working. Yes, that would be nice.

In two parts Part 2 (some content may not be suitable for all audiences)

I went home, we ordered pizza.
I was very hungry.
My mom said I should check with the instacare.
(unfortunately the instacare wasn't listed in any of the phonebooks.)
The instacare had only been open about a month.
They told me their hours were 9 to 9.
I decided to eat first, then go in.
We borrowed some crutches from a neighbor,
(but their reccommended height was about six inches shorter than mine.)

And to the Instacare we went.
I found great irony, that they didn't have handicap accessible doors.
They found me a wheel chair, and asked for my phone number.
The process was actually quite smooth.
I really was brought in almost instantly (of course the office was empty when I got there.)They checked my vitals, (medical people seem to like that because it happened a lot). I think this was the third time.
After about twenty minutes the doctor came to check me out.
She thought I probably had a fracture. She seemed very nice, maybe too nice. Maybe she was in pediatrics, I don't know, but she was very um delicate. Whe would barely touch me, and ask if it hurt. Of course, it did not. Or at least, not very much.

Then the nurse took me back for x-rays. Recognized the nurse, (this was a very common theme through out my experience). Xray's weren't all that fun. I had to put my leg places it didn't always want to be. Then I had to hold it there.

I could see the scans on the computer monitor outside my window, My leg looked pretty good. I guess I missed something, because my leg was not so good. In fact it was broken.
When the doctor came back in, she looked pretty surprised. She had be right, I had broken it, but she how no idea how large the fracture was. It was much more broken, than even she expected. She said I should go to the ER pretty quickly.
Getting in and out of the car was harder than I expected, but somehow I managed.
In the ER, we saw a few more people we knew, then checked in. My nurse was awesome. Her name was Vanessa. She said somebody had really messed up on the crutches, because those ones weren't the right size. She promptly found me some taller ones. My friends came up to visit. While we waited we played cards. Phase 10 cards.
This really made Vanessa laugh. Phase 10 in the ER at um midnight, I guess it's not common. Then one of my friends (who was also one of my EMT's came in) he was there to IV me. He was a bit surprised to find out how serious my injury was. I was very good at phase 10, in fact I was winning.

Corey did my CT scan. He said it was pretty sweet.
Not every day that you get one that good.
Dr. Delcore happened to be on call, so he was assigned as my surgeon.
He came and found me. I did not expect what I saw. He was young. Reallly young. Not like Doogie Houser young, but not much older than me. He asked me about my accident,
and then about my work. He started taking notes on his pants.
I admit, this caught me off guard. He was pretty interested. He asked if I wanted to see what had happened. I obliged. So he pulled out his pen, and started drawing.
He just drew right there on the bed. There was my tibia, there was my femur and there in the middle, was my fracture, or perhaps I should say fissure. Right down the middle, it was split right open. And a little piece of bone, just propping it open.
He was pretty nice, but he was going home to bed. I had eaten too recently, and he had just finished a pretty serious surgery, so he scheduled me for surgery in the morning.
Venessa made sure the hospital got me an extra tall bed. I got a new batch of nurses, and big surprise, I knew them too.