FMAW Rules and Regs

It should look something like this.

FMAW: Rules and Regulations

First let me say that these rules make more sense if you just read the post about there being a contest. If not I highly recommend reading it, Second I think the rules go well with salt. enjoy.

Section 1: LEGAL GARBAGE: Contest is in no way legally binding. There is nothing legal about it, unless of course you find me a lawyer,or the daughter of one, or something to that effect. Nonetheless, this contest will be enforced at the sole discretion of the sponsor thereof, namely me. I reserve the right to discontinue, modify, or substitute any and or all of the hitherto and hereafter stated contest rules and or guidelines (and even the contest itself if need be), at any time for any and or no reason at all. Nevertheless, The general principles hereafter defined will be upheld to the fullest extent that I deem reasonable.

Section 2: PRIZES AND SO FORTH: While it is reasonable to expect that one would enter this contest with the sole intent of knowing that they had helped a friend in his eternal progression (and in fact many people did enter with that, or similar motives), I have decided that any good contest needs a good prize, Thus I have decided to provide the winner of the contest with a delightful dining experience, with myself and the contestant's entry. Said Experience may be substituted for an gift certificate, or other experience, If the contestant's location is not conducive to such an activity, or the contestant wills it to be so. I reserve the right to award other prizes, for favorable circumstances, that could help me in my progression, including, but not limited to; A serious and or long term relation ship,unintentional death of an entry, and consistent quality of entries.

Section 3: WHO MAY ENTER: Contest is open to all persons who have read the rules thereof, and to persons who have, or perhaps would, pursue a such course, as to qualify them for the winning of said contest. Contestants should be the legal residents of The United States of America, or of some other country locatable on a map. Contest will be made open to all others, including, but not limited to Aliens, providing they provide adequate contact information, for the claiming of their prize. Contest open to people of various age, ethnicity, and socio-economic standings. Number of entries will not be limited, nor will the number of entries per entrant be restrained. Though personal discretion will of course be advised. As the number of entries increases, the odds of finding a winner has a correlating reaction: also increasing. Notwithstanding this an increase in the number of entries could have a negative impact on any one entries chances of being selected.

Section 4: HOW TO ENTER. It's simple really. First you find a girl -- See specific guidelines to follow, and then you do your part to get me to marry her. (and her me etc.) Generally this could mean many things. obviously, to be kept within the bounds of reasonable, moral, and ethical behaviour. Such ideas may include but are not limited to a personal introduction (must be identifiable as such for such pursuits as prize Redemption), Providing your entry with my email address, coordination of such an event as to facilitate my getting to know an or many entrants, and other such ideas as could help me get a wife.

Section 5: SECTION FOR RANDOM OFFICIAL SOUNDING WORDS: Indemnify. Nullification, Disembowelment, Discombobulated, Antipathy, Pathological, Reciprocity, Contiguous, Propinquity, and Ratification.

Section 6: SPECIFIC GUIDELINES MINUS THE SPECIFICITY: All entries must consist of one (1) single (unmarried) person of the female gender. No entries will be accepted unless the entry (not the entrant) was born in the 70's or 80's. Preferential treatment will likely be given to those entries born between 1974 and 1984 plus or minus a little. (coincidentally 1984 was the year the first Apple Mac came out) All those to be married must be eligible for a wedding in the LDS temple of their choice. Consideration of certain factors is requested of those entering the FMAW contest.
The person you find should have more in common with me, then just "old", tall, or single. Actually even if the person had all three, they would have to have more to make a good quality entry. Good entries will consist of those with similar interests to the author, and sponsor. --Such interests may include, Soccer, Biking, Hiking, Food, Ice cream, Donuts, Alligator Jaws, Crocodiles (you know they can be over twenty ft long) History, Math, Science, Art, Computers, Music, Greece, Missionary Work, Families, Firesides, Institute, Porch Swings, Pianos, Waterfalls, Lightning, Board Games and Food. Also those with similar goals. (yes I have a few goals, I just don't broadcast them). Ideal candidates: shall be of at least slightly above average intelligence, shall be easy for me to communicate with, on deep and no so deep levels. Ideal candidates will be nice, Honest, Modest in dress and appearance, social, and fun.

Further information regarding quality of entries can be found elsewhere throughout this blog. Such entries as "simply amazing" may be of inherent value. All entries will be given at least one code name to protect their anonymity, though entrants, may or may not be afforded such luxuries. All code names are to be determined at the discretion of the sponsor. All entries should consist of tangible, non-fictitious people with whom I would have much in common.

Section 7: HOW TO WIN: It's simple really, find me a wife, When I get married, you win if you found the one (yes only one can win without extreme, extenuating circumstances way beyond my control) I really do marry. Final decisions will all be made by me. (of course all decisions must be made be me, and confirmed by her, I.e.; if I propose marriage, but she says no...you don't win.)

Section 8: DURATION OF CONTEST: This contest shall officially except entries through March of 2008 unless the duration of the contest is terminated before such time. Each entry shall be valid for up to two years from the time of said entry. exceptions may apply.

Section 9: ODDS OF WINNING: your guess is as good as mine, void where prohibited.
Technically you may have already won, (of course very few people could claim such status, and no one could claim that status without considerable further effort on the part of many people, so if you did already win, we won't know that for a while yet. All prior introductions, will have the duration of their validity renewed on my birthday.
(thus adding two years of eligibility for the purpose of the contest). Oh and did I mention that I'm playing too? I am, and I find some very good contestants, of course I know what I like, but I do have a harder time ascertaining their interests and interest. All contestants will be given a priority ranking, those that I find may be given preferential treatment. Priority ranking is not necessarily an accurate indication of potential. Ranking, may be a factor of opportunity, originality, uniqueness, and propinquity, but also may take into consideration, any WOW or hmm factors. And All rankings are expected to change multiple times throughout the contest. And Of course, I reserve the right to pursue, or not pursue to any degree, any option presented me. I also reserve the right of all "found" persons to self-evacuate from said contest.

Conclusion: So what if no one enters? Well that's impossible, because as I said I'm already playing, (and there have been a few prior entries) But I am not going to harbor any feelings of malcontent towards those who do not enter. Actually a really poor entry is much more likely to elicit such a response, oh and it helps if the person doesn't hate herself, and will let me compliment her (should I so choose). I admit I find it amusing that people are trying to find me a wife. And I think this is a very funny post.