no this is not about pirates,
though I do think that it would be interesting
to yammer about dating with pirate metaphors and similes
and jargon all relating to dating.
And trust me I think I could do it.
but I'm kinda in a hurry,
so in order to avoid the injustice that either
topic deserves I'm going to skip my discussion on
pirates, and go straight to dating,
I know that's probably not on the list,
but it is on my mind, so following a short commercial
we will resume with the topic of dating.
Are you Bored?
Is your mind wasting away in front of a tv?
Or maybe a computer screen?
Well have no fear!
I have a Solution for you.
Trade in your Boredom for a wonderful
new inovation. BOARD GAMES!
Board games may not be new.
but many of them are.
check out the comments on this blog,
for the newest location of Across the Board Games.
(yes even newer than you think)
A great place for all your gaming needs.
They Can Cure Boredom
(and baldness I think).
shop well.
Is your mind wasting away in front of a tv?
Or maybe a computer screen?
Well have no fear!
I have a Solution for you.
Trade in your Boredom for a wonderful
new inovation. BOARD GAMES!
Board games may not be new.
but many of them are.
check out the comments on this blog,
for the newest location of Across the Board Games.
(yes even newer than you think)
A great place for all your gaming needs.
They Can Cure Boredom
(and baldness I think).
shop well.
Well dating.
I think I shall call this blog Five things I love about dating,
but I don't know if there are five things I love about dating,
so I may call it five things I hate about dating,
or maybe five things I don't understand about dating,
or maybe, you can tell me what it should be called,
oh and by the way,
I'm not going to limit myself to 5
but I might run out of time.
#1 Selection.
How on earth is a person to ever even pick someone to date.
I mean, let's face it there are billions of people on earth,
and literally thousands that one could date.
where do you even start.
and once your there,
how do you know if your going the right way.
I mean I guess you just have to find someone that has anything that you like
and if you don't know anything you like you ask them out.
(problematic at best)
I hate the whole choosing process!
#3 I know this is right after one,
but the order is debateable,
though I've heard this is correct.
After you pick a person you have to plan a date.
(is this sounding like work yet? and nobody pays us for it)
ideally you can't just plan a date,
you have to plan it for your date.
(yep, problematic too). of course if we knew the person,
we wouldn't need a date to get to know them,
but, what are the odds of that,
I mean who marries the girl next door anyway.
Ok Jason did, but actually she lived across the street.
and so begins the whirlpool.
date to get to know some'un, get to know some'un so you can date them.
#3 b to group or not to group.
Grouping is good!
Grouping is Bad!
if you have a group you don't have to do all the work,
and by work, I mostly mean talking.
but other work too.
if you group that's that many more people you have to plan for.
and that many more people to coordinate with.
yes we're not there yet but coordinating is tough.
I mean really we date at the time of our lives when our schedules are most busy,
which bring me to number next.
#2 Asking
so let's say you found someone to date.
how do you ask them?
Do you know that there are actually rules about this?
It doesn't matter how free your schedule is,
I hear that the guy is supposed to pick a date.
and ok, I can see this sort of,
but girls don't always make it easy.
some girls are never free.
can you imagine,
a guy doing as much as he possibly can
and still the stupid girls that he asks out, won't
even take a few precious minutes out of their schedule to
let him have a date.
(it's not like they even have to do anything)
(granted there are things that would be nice,
but really just going on a date, it's not that hard)
(except of course all the things mentioned herein).
Actually this happened to me twice this summer.
I asked two different girls out,
and they both said that they "would love to" go out,
(I'm not making that up)
but neither of them was available for the date I picked.
(shame on me for picking a date)
but neither of them was actually ever available.
I asked and asked, and after three weeks I decided
that I must have miss judged them, they were not my type.
They were liars.
Ok maybe they weren't liars,
but still this whole process is hard enough,
and if girls are going to make it harder they should be avoided
(not that I have met a whole lot of girls that don't make it harder, but that's another story).
actaully the last two girls I asked out made it easier,
(in other words not impossible).
one actually gave me alternative options,
(let's not forget that I already had a plan, we were going to a party)
so I knew that she was available-ish,
but...
and then there was my other problem,
what about the party.
do you ask by phone?
cellphone? and how did you get the number?
I mean it's not that hard,
but does that make it kosher?
what about a letter,
maybe a registered letter.
do you mail it,
or put something on their door,
(what if you put something on their door, but you forget to sign it?)
what if you sign it, but forget to say who it's for?
what if you put it in their locker,
or at least you thought it was their locker?
do you ask in person?
what if they're never alone?
good grief how does one isolate from the heard.
what if the heard is other guys?
what if it's not?
I can tell you what not to do.
Don't isolate them by asking them to dance.
I personally like email,
but it too has it's draw backs,
can you believe some people don't
check their email?
asking is problematic.
I don't like asking.
And so I'm out of time,
you're probably out of time too.
but I still have two more items (at least)
#4 talk talk.
#5 do or do not
#4 talk talk.
talk talk talk. (that is one funny looking word)
what do you talk about?
what if they never start a thread of conversation?
what do you talk about?
what if they don't like your jokes?
what if they don't even get them?
what if your jokes really aren't funny?
what if you know them enough that you can't use good small talk.
You know where they're from, you know what they're studying.
you know where they live, and with who, and for why?
what if you already used your small talk, but didn't get enough info
to start your big talk.
and how soon do you talk about really cool, deep, stuff?
#5 do or do not
and then you do it again,
or do you?
I mean do you do it again with the same person,
and how on earth do you know,
or do you start over again,
(yuk!)
or do you do it again?
I just don't know,
what I do know is that I have at least five things that I hate about dating.
I just hope that it works out somehow.
I think I shall call this blog Five things I love about dating,
but I don't know if there are five things I love about dating,
so I may call it five things I hate about dating,
or maybe five things I don't understand about dating,
or maybe, you can tell me what it should be called,
oh and by the way,
I'm not going to limit myself to 5
but I might run out of time.
#1 Selection.
How on earth is a person to ever even pick someone to date.
I mean, let's face it there are billions of people on earth,
and literally thousands that one could date.
where do you even start.
and once your there,
how do you know if your going the right way.
I mean I guess you just have to find someone that has anything that you like
and if you don't know anything you like you ask them out.
(problematic at best)
I hate the whole choosing process!
#3 I know this is right after one,
but the order is debateable,
though I've heard this is correct.
After you pick a person you have to plan a date.
(is this sounding like work yet? and nobody pays us for it)
ideally you can't just plan a date,
you have to plan it for your date.
(yep, problematic too). of course if we knew the person,
we wouldn't need a date to get to know them,
but, what are the odds of that,
I mean who marries the girl next door anyway.
Ok Jason did, but actually she lived across the street.
and so begins the whirlpool.
date to get to know some'un, get to know some'un so you can date them.
#3 b to group or not to group.
Grouping is good!
Grouping is Bad!
if you have a group you don't have to do all the work,
and by work, I mostly mean talking.
but other work too.
if you group that's that many more people you have to plan for.
and that many more people to coordinate with.
yes we're not there yet but coordinating is tough.
I mean really we date at the time of our lives when our schedules are most busy,
which bring me to number next.
#2 Asking
so let's say you found someone to date.
how do you ask them?
Do you know that there are actually rules about this?
It doesn't matter how free your schedule is,
I hear that the guy is supposed to pick a date.
and ok, I can see this sort of,
but girls don't always make it easy.
some girls are never free.
can you imagine,
a guy doing as much as he possibly can
and still the stupid girls that he asks out, won't
even take a few precious minutes out of their schedule to
let him have a date.
(it's not like they even have to do anything)
(granted there are things that would be nice,
but really just going on a date, it's not that hard)
(except of course all the things mentioned herein).
Actually this happened to me twice this summer.
I asked two different girls out,
and they both said that they "would love to" go out,
(I'm not making that up)
but neither of them was available for the date I picked.
(shame on me for picking a date)
but neither of them was actually ever available.
I asked and asked, and after three weeks I decided
that I must have miss judged them, they were not my type.
They were liars.
Ok maybe they weren't liars,
but still this whole process is hard enough,
and if girls are going to make it harder they should be avoided
(not that I have met a whole lot of girls that don't make it harder, but that's another story).
actaully the last two girls I asked out made it easier,
(in other words not impossible).
one actually gave me alternative options,
(let's not forget that I already had a plan, we were going to a party)
so I knew that she was available-ish,
but...
and then there was my other problem,
what about the party.
do you ask by phone?
cellphone? and how did you get the number?
I mean it's not that hard,
but does that make it kosher?
what about a letter,
maybe a registered letter.
do you mail it,
or put something on their door,
(what if you put something on their door, but you forget to sign it?)
what if you sign it, but forget to say who it's for?
what if you put it in their locker,
or at least you thought it was their locker?
do you ask in person?
what if they're never alone?
good grief how does one isolate from the heard.
what if the heard is other guys?
what if it's not?
I can tell you what not to do.
Don't isolate them by asking them to dance.
I personally like email,
but it too has it's draw backs,
can you believe some people don't
check their email?
asking is problematic.
I don't like asking.
And so I'm out of time,
you're probably out of time too.
but I still have two more items (at least)
#4 talk talk.
#5 do or do not
#4 talk talk.
talk talk talk. (that is one funny looking word)
what do you talk about?
what if they never start a thread of conversation?
what do you talk about?
what if they don't like your jokes?
what if they don't even get them?
what if your jokes really aren't funny?
what if you know them enough that you can't use good small talk.
You know where they're from, you know what they're studying.
you know where they live, and with who, and for why?
what if you already used your small talk, but didn't get enough info
to start your big talk.
and how soon do you talk about really cool, deep, stuff?
#5 do or do not
and then you do it again,
or do you?
I mean do you do it again with the same person,
and how on earth do you know,
or do you start over again,
(yuk!)
or do you do it again?
I just don't know,
what I do know is that I have at least five things that I hate about dating.
I just hope that it works out somehow.
9 comments:
Wow, you seem really frustrated by the whole thing. It really seemed to bother you at the time you wrote that blog. I could feel the frustration come through in your writing. ...well, those were all very good points from your view. Don't stress it so much. The way I look at it, the girls can either react well or not. We can be fickle, unpredictable beings and are all very different; therefore, there is no one answer to the questions because each female is different. That's what's so great about it, though. The girls who didn't make themselves available to spend time with you just eliminated themselves from the dating group. It sucked, I'm sure, but at least now you know that they're out. I figure that it's more of an elimination process, and the person who doesn't get eliminated wins. But, yeah, I get your point. It does seem to be hard to find someone with whom you are compatible. Nobody's perfect, so I suppose that there will always be lulls in conversation or maybe you'll trip walking up the stairs or something. Insignificant things. Be yourself. See Jewels' Blog. I hope I linked that correctly. I'm new at this.
Cardine, I LOVE that you put a link to my blog in your comment!
Warnser, I really enjoyed this post! We've talked about this a couple times, and each time I'm fascinated to see the guy's point of view in the whole dating scene. If I were a guy I think the worst part would be the asking. I'm pretty good at choosing, planning, and talking, but I'd hate to have to ask (which is one reason why I never do)!
It really is a miracle people ever find each other! I guess that's why love is so wonderful, because it's so hard to find. Hmmm.
Good luck and happy dating! :)
P.S. Are you just teasing us with the pirate post? You keep promising to write about them then breaking that promise. It's like when a TV show ends with "To Be Continued", how can you not turn in next time?!?! :)
Yes it's true, the whole thing is true. Actually almost every story or example in this blog is from real life, (and most of it's mine)
The process does frustrate me,
but even as I was writing my blog,
I knew it sounded worse than it really is.
I tried to include a few counter examples, but I just ran out of time.
but in reality some of the people I have asked out do make it easier.
And oddly enough I left out one of the big ones. # 6 When are you 'Dating' and how do you decide,
and what does that mean?
In response to jewels,
yes I still plan on writing about pirates, but I haven't quite pulled that one together,
I have been recieving some pressure to write again,
and ranting comes easier,
though I hope there was more humor in this entry too.
anyway thanks for your comments.
...so, #6, the one about when are you "dating?" is actually the seventh because there were already six. It went #1, #3, #3b, #2, #4, & #5, which equals six. So confusing, yet, funny. You could name the next blog "#6: The Seventh One" and make it REALLY confusing!
Jewels, thanks, I was proud of the link.
No rush on the pirates. I just think it's funny that they keep getting postphoned. I'm looking forward to your thoughts on them because I would never have thought to write about pirates and I wonder what you'll write about. And, yes, there was definitely humor in this post. Very enjoyable!
By the way, I think it's great that you called me jewels. Thanks!
Cardine, speaking of dating, I would LOVE to read a blog from you about what you _____ about dating. Just a thought. :)
Here is a short example that may help you or may make you more frustrated. I don't know which, because I don't know how I feel about it either.
One time I wanted to get to know a boy in my ward who was EXTREMELY shy, but there were little things here and there that I noticed and liked about him. It was the hardest relationship I've ever worked on. The more I got to know him, the more I liked who he is. Well, the boy did nothing about anything. So I figured, he must not appreciate the attention that I was giving him. Through some way or another I actually communicated with him enough to know that he was not bothered by me, but that didn't make it any easier for me, because he still did next-to-nothing about things. Was I trying too hard to make something out of nothing? I learned from it that one-sided relationships are very difficult. The reason for my frustration: just shortly after he actually "warmed up" to me and initiated a few things, he moved away.
To others (and myself sometimes) it may have seemed like a waste of time to keep inviting him to parties, sitting by him at church events, etc..., but then I realized that it is never a waste of time to care about somebody else.
Hello? Are you still alive? Everyday I check and still no new post!!!! Where are you?!?! :)
so I have many...okay, a handful... of situations I could contribute in the way of dating stories. But I read once that it was annoying for married people to advise singles about dating. So, sorry.
All I can offer, is that maybe you could move. Worked for me.But I think I've annoyed others by suggesting that before....
I'm not sure how annoying it is to hear about dating from married people, I mean you are the ones that figured out how to get out of it. No more first dates, how cool would that be!
as for leaving Cedar, the suggestion doesn't bother me, and yet I will probably stay, at least for a while.
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