I have a feeling this blog is going to attract a hefty amount of attention. But I also have the feeling that no matter what I say here, nothing will change. I doubt that I really have any reason to be bitter, but I myself, would not be surprised to find a bit of contempt in the blogging herein.
As you may have guessed this is a valentines day blog.
Not a blog written then but written about then.
So a little about me:
I am a man, just slightly older than a boy.
I work most of the day,
and I have a limited social life.
In fact half of my social life just left me.
I used to share an office with another guy in my profession,
but he bought a house and he left me for it.
I almost couldn't believe it.
but I guess these things happen.
unfortunately he was half of my social life.
when I got bored, I would visit with him,
probably a bit more often than I should have,
but it was mutually beneficial.
I have some friends,
they would be the other 1/2 of my social life.
we get together regularly, but somehow the social life,
still has some holes in it.
I like my friends and I like the things we do
(you know, except that time we played
the Simpsons board game) :>
But still I wish there was more.
I like people (I know it's hard to believe, a misanthrope
who actually likes people, but I do).
I just like to have people around.
Ironically I don't strive for bachelorness,
but I seem to be better at it than a lot
of the people that I know.
(you now... I'm single)
I try to date,
(I hate it... but I try)
in fact I'm kind of what some would call a closet dater.
I think this means that I don't seem to be dating,
and I certainly don't think that I'm dating,
but I always seems to trying something,
(it's not big and showey, but there a constant,
though still painful, little bit of effort being put forth).
Oh yeah and I'm taking a class,
it's a religion class (institute)
but I don't think this is doing anything for my social life.
It's not that I don't like the other students,
and I think its the first modest class I've been in for
atleast three years, (really everybody dress great).
it's just that everybody else is a little older than me.
(you know like three or four decades, and I that's
just not the hole in my social life that I think needs the most filling
at this particular stage in life)
Though I have to admit,
I usually am well liked by people of this group. :-)
So what's my point.
Well I haven't got one.
What do I need one?
shoot. I forgot about that ,
Maybe next time,
would that be ok?
Alright, Alright,
I'll give you something more.
I had the strangest thought.
What if the institute choir came to sing to me
for Valentines day.
They do that kind of thing
you know.
I could just see it,
they would come in and sing
in front of my whole institute class,
and everybody would be happy,
and I would be happy, because somebody
was thinking about me.
Then I thought this was a silly idea,
if the choir was going to sing to me,
could they even find me,
I mean, I'm not in a traditional class,
and oh yeah, why would they interupt
a perfectly good lesson,
just because it was valentines day.
It would make a lot more sense for them to sing to me at work.
It's the easiest place to find me.
(And I like disruption there,
in small doses anyway)
my house mates left me a valentine.
(I never see them, but I think they still exist)
(if it wasn't them, then we have awfully
friendly burglars 'round here).
But they mostly keep to their half the house,
and me to mine.
And somewhere in the back of my mind
I thought of the chior as I got ready for the day.
The choir actually did come to my class.
Actually they came twice,
Once the girls from the choir came
and once the guys.
but the odd thing was,
that they actually did come
for me. weird.
in was kind of intimidating
what with my inconspicuous
front row seat and all,
but kind of exhillerating too.
When the girls finished my personal concert
(which everyone else just happen to enjoy too),
The teacher made a reasonable request.
He said something like this.
So tell us who sent this, So he can reciprocate.
it was signed...
Miss Anonymous.
I guess I have two options.
(cause I'm not about to go around asking)
I can systematically ask out every girl
that I think could have possibly done it,
I guessing there are at most 15 - 20 possibilities,
so in like four months I will have at least done something,
or, I can do nothing.
I have no power.
This could be the perfect match,
that I have been looking for,
you know, when someone you like,
actually likes you too,
but I may never know,
I guess that's the beauty of anonimity.
Probably I will do something in between the two.
I will probably ask a few girls out,
but I will probably never know,
why I saw the choir.
So here I am happy, and sad, at the same time.
I don't even know if the valentine was sent
by someone my own age,
(or even close to it)
but I guess I can't complain,
I mean, I did get a valentine.
And I did't give any.
12 comments:
thats really cool that the choir sang to you. I hope you find out who it was, and that it was the perfect girl...if she exists. I don't know what to tell you about the dating thing. I never did learn how dating was supposed to work, in Cedar or anywhere else. In fact, I don't know how I got married.
I agree with Tearese. That was cool that the choir sang to you.
Hmmm... this post has actually added evidence to a dating theory that I have been formulating in my mind during the past five years. This requires more contemplation.
I'm guessing this post wasn't as confusing to read as I thought it might be. Some times I kind of jump around (not so much physically).
So I want to hear more about this theory. Five years now, this should be getting good.
I just had a hilarious image of you jumping around flash through my head.
Warnwer, I'm glad to be a small part of 1/2 of your social life. Speaking of...we may be getting together Saturday night for fun. Call me or Cardine for details.
How interesting that a not-so-well-known class received 2 Val-o-grams...perhaps the same person sent both of them...
After hearing the theory,
and then rehearing the theory I think i agree.
Of course I could see how this same theory could be used completely in the wrong way, so that it would basically just say "the guy is always wrong."
I don't see it as "the guy is always wrong." In fact, I see it as, "people are imperfect and that's frustrating," which we all know, anyway.
In fact, if the theory would be used in a "the guy is always wrong" way, that would invalidate the theory (it's just not consistent with the theory) because the theory provides for each individual's responsibility to act according to what is good and right and to not blame other people or circumstances for their choices. "The guy is always wrong" is definitely a statement that sounds like someone is blaming someone else for something. That is DEFINITELY NOT what is intended because it is just not true. Gender or other generalized classifications play no role in the theory. The theory is based on "people," which I suppose inherently excludes non-people, and I would have to revisit the theory to be able to verify whether non-people can be included as a part of the theory.
Oh good, then we agree.
I am just making reference to an oft quoted line, that seems to come up in relationships (mine and others)
Which says something like this.
"I want you to act, without having to be told."
But what I think people, (and in my relationships, girls)
often forget is that it is very hard to act on knowledge that one doesn't have. So while I see the value in not having to continually tell someone what to do, I also see the value of clearly teaching a person what is good, and appropriate.
Basically I think people should talk to people, instead of about them.
For instance if I was in a relationship and I never held the girls hand I think it would be much more effective for her to tell me,
"I like it when people hold my hand." and maybe "would you hold my hand?"
then to say to her friends, "yes warnser is great but he never holds my hands." or "he's such a jerk, I don't get it we spend a lot of time together, but he won't even hold my hand."
So I guess I would have to agree with your theory, but I would want to ad a corrollary which would be 'people should communicate more.'
That's a different, but somewhat related theory. Actually, the story quite applies to my theory. The girl who wants her hand to be held SHOULD act upon her desires and somehow communicate that fact to the guy. Therefore, the dialogue that you presented would suffice. I think that the problem is that people have so many ideals of how things should happen. That's unfortunate because we're all different, and no one is a mind-reader, so it would be a wonder if anything ever worked out for them. One time someone commented to me that they think that everything is more romantic without words. I wanted to laugh them to scorn (not really, but it was pretty funny to me). I guess it means that we're all different.
Yeah, I agree that it's frustrating if the person will tell everyone else, except for the person who it is dealing with. I had a roommate like that once. She was so passive aggressive that everyone else knew what the problem was, except for the person it was dealing with. Incidentally, one time when I was trying to explain my feelings, I was accused of being confrontational. ...which was also pretty funny (it wasn't at the time, but it is now). And then one time the person burst at an ice cream outing and publicly and rudely made a comment about how I'm so confrontational. That was also funny because I thought it was ironic that they were accusing me of being confrontational while they were just being openly impolite and uncharitable. Humorous, I tell you. Yes she had issues. Yes, I have issues.
yes I agree, the problem is in our preconceived ideals.
Issues? yeah I've got them too.
and I'm not talking about the readers digest.
What a great experience. I'd like to remember to do something like that!
It certainly feels nice to know that someone is thinking of you and that you are special to someone!
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