Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Backward

I like backwards.

I really do.


It's true, I've always been a little different.
But I have always liked backwards.

I guess Backwards has a few different meanings.
And I don't necessarily mean dull, or sluggish, stupid, or regressive.
But rather I mean things like walking backwards, and reading upside down,
and taking things in an order of my own choosing.

One thing that I would really like to have an atypical order for, would be success.

And I don't know that I would be opposed to being hugely successful,
but part of me would really rather wait to get to that point.

Now waiting, in and of itself, is not that backwards,
but wanting to wait. I'm guessing that is.

But honestly part of me is glad that I'm not there yet.
Yeah I'd love it if I had less debt, especially all this new stuff
from the hospitals (yes my leg is doing quite well, thanks )

But success? nah, I can wait.
I mean dating is hard enough as it is,
and if you had to add to that not knowing if the person really liked you,
or really just liked success, I think it would be harder.

Do they love they fame?
or the money?
or the lifestyle?
or the security?
or the person?

To me I think the person is ultimately best.
and in my case that's about all I have - so maybe I'm a little biased.

I mean sure I think there's a good chance that in some ways I am very likely above average.
but as far as physical proof goes, I just don't have it.
I guess if a girl wanted to seriously date me, she would have to have faith,
or perhaps I could date someone with really low expectations.
Or someone with a sweet inheritance... from their dying unlce... Tony.
(but I guess that would sort of be like having low expectations)

I've heard a lot lately this this is backwards.
I hear from girls that they want to see the plan.
They want to know the path.
But I think plans change. Quite frequently sometimes.
and sometimes plans don't change as often as they should.
And sometimes the path we are on doesn't go where we think..
and sometimes the path can change on the way.
And often the destinations aren't nearly as glamourous as the brochures make them out to be.

And so I stick to my backwards ways.
I don't fully know what my life will bring.
And I'm ok with that.
And even if I did, I might not say.

I have some Ideas, and some that I quite like,
but in a backwards kind of way I like just having a job,
and having enough.
(though a little more time, now that would be nice)

30 comments:

Cardine said...

Maybe I can relate. Maybe it's kind of like how I don't put THAT much effort into becoming more attractive. I could eat better, and I could exercise more. I could wear cooler clothes. I could put more effort into making my hair look nicer. I could flirt more.

But,... I don't. Part of it is because I think that if I did, maybe I would attract people for that reason and not attract them to me (the other part is that I really don't care and am lazy). It's sort of my own safeguard against people being attracted to me for what I perceive to be the wrong reasons. I want them to like me for me.

Is that sort of what you're saying?

julie said...

Hmm. There's a lot I could say about this post, but I have decided to focus on just one part (because it's the meatiest, in my opinion).

I prefer a man with a plan. It's true. I'm not saying he has to have his whole life planned out - that would be unrealistic on several levels. A plan indicates direction; it gives me some insights as to who he is, what he values, what he wants in life. I can then compare what I find out about him to what I think I know about myself. Example: a guy who plans on being a CEO for a major corporation probably doesn't match what I want out of my life. It's not a hard and fast rule, just an indication.

I think you have valid points about plans; they do change and sometimes the path we think we want to take isn't right for us. Valid. I just wanted to give you my perspective about why I like a guy with a plan - whatever that plan may be.

warnser said...

I have ten minutes, so I will try to use them to address my blog.

Yes I think there is some similarity cardine.
But I don't have time to fully address it. Still I think to things apply.

First if you have no intention of doing those things after marriage, then doing them now would be ironic, let's say.

Second I think it is always important to be ourselves, our best selves as a wise man says.

But I have seen some of your better game, and I don't know, but it seems fairly impressive. Etc.

Part two.
The more I think about it the more of a plan I see.
But I still don't like to share my plans much, so if someone was to ask me concerning what I see as that plan, even in the first five or six dates (which is pretty much a miracle if I even get there...), they probably still would be able to see the whole picture.

I would rather that they know me and (yes I see a small flaw in this method), instinctively believe that I can make it work.

warnser said...

Let me expound (I have two minutes)

The Tale of the Cardboard Swing
Part I

Once upon a time in a not so distant land there lived a young man.

He was tall, and he was smart, and generally rather nice.
But mostly he was an artist.

Well it just so happened that the queen of the neighboring land held an annual constest. The contest to design her new throne.

There was only one problem,
it had to be cardboard

Anonymous said...

...awaiting part 2...

Cardine said...

Wow, that was a really nice response that you gave. I especially liked, "But I have seen some of your better game, and I don't know, but it seems fairly impressive. Etc." Thanks!

You know, I think that's actually the key. Giving compliments, like the one you just gave, can basically trump any worry a girl may have. A true, sincere compliment can do wonders. It can weed the wheat from the tares, so to speak. Go and do.

warnser said...

The long awaited day has come,
Part two of my story is finally here.
but alas for part three, you still have to wait.
(oh yeah and part three is the good part. Or so one might say)


PART II

The Queen had a particular fondness for cardboard, and so the only things that she would allow in her throne were cardboard and glue. Of course the throne should be stately and of at least a specified height. And most importantly the throne would have to be sturdy enough to support the queen for the whole next year.
Well, word spread quickly, as words often do, and various people in various lands set out to desing the queens new throne.
One such person was our friend the artist.

For some reasons that you might understand, and for some that you might not, he felt compelled to build the queen's new throne. Now this man knew many great and capable people who were working on thrones from which the queen could select. He knew his idea would have to be special
And so this man began to search, to find that one great idea that the queen would most like. Now this artist knew that there were many ways that something could be special. but he wanted to find an idea that he would really love.
At first he played with ideas of size and shape. Somehow though, the sizes and shapes that the man found didn't give him a unique enough idea.
He'd sketch and erase, Sketch and erase.
He needed something more.
That something, when he found it, was motion.
He knew that in some way parts of his chair would have to be movable. A rocker, a lounger, or maybe even wheels.
He sat and he pondered, as often he did, but try as he might he could not find the throne.
He needed a porch-swing to sit on and think.
He needed a place to clear all his thoughts.
And suddenly he knew his solution and his problem were one and the same.
The queen's new throne would be a swing, tall and majestic, a perfect place for gathering her heinesses thoughts.

Cardine said...

I think that was too symbolic for me. I guess I missed the point. Maybe I'll have to think about it.

julie said...

I'm a little lost, too, but I'm attributing it to the missing third part of the story. I'm guessing that this story applies somehow to your post. Am I right?

warnser said...

I'd like to believe that part three will help make things clear.

And oh, is it suppose to apply?
oh no wait it does,
ummm, well i mean it will,
or umm maybe i mean it might.

but part three is where it gets good
(it's true part one and part two are virtually irrelevant, but they do set up part three rather well).

warnser said...

so other than the part about it not making any sense,
How do you like my story?

I remember what I like so much about blogging,
mmm.

well ttfn
W

julie said...

The only reason I expect it to apply is that at the first of the part one you said, and I quote, "Let my expound". If I interpreted that incorrectly, so be it, and I'll just enjoy the story for itself. :) When do we get part three?

Cardine said...

And let me quote, "I remember what I like so much about blogging,
mmm."

So, you like 3 m's about blogging, eh?

j/k

I don't know what you like about blogging, but whatever it is, it conjured up an "mmm" from you. That is curious.

Hi, Julie! I like that we can converse in Warnser's comments.

warnser said...

P3 (not PS3) ha! ha, I really am laughing

He was fairly certain he'd found a great idea, but as often happens with such ideas, there were those who didn't agree. Actually it was hard to find anyone who did agree with him.

IMPOSSIBLE! IMPRACTICAL! ILLOGICAL! They'd say.
“What a silly idea.” sometimes he would hear.
How ridiculous friends exclaimed, building swing out of cardboard, but what he heard most of all was that it was impossible. Some people even went so far as to say that no chair could be built with cardboard, it just wasn't strong enough.
Of course he knew this couldn't be true.
He had spent many nights in the land of the queen.
He visited often.
He saw her great thrones.

Cardboard thrones had been built before, and
cardboard thrones would be built again.
And soon, the time would come when the queen would once more unveil her new throne.

One day most like any other day, the artist stopped by his favorite bakery for some lunch. He ordered his food, then he sat down outside.
There were tables and benches, and a light gentle breeze.

As he sat eating, and pondering a friend came and joined him.
She noticed he'd been drawing a lot on the napkins.
Almost reluctantly, she asked what it was.
Even more reluctantly he decided to tell her

He was building a swing out of cardboard.
Strangely though, she did not think that was crazy.
In fact she wanted to help.

The artist couldn't believe it,
She was serious and she really thought he could do it.

And it wasn't that she really loved cardboard,
And it wasn't that she knew anything about building swings
She just knew the artist. And she trusted him.
It sounded fun to her.
It was a challenge, and an adventure.

And so they built his swing.
And it wasn't easy.

Sometimes she couldn't see how this would make a swing.
But gladly she did whatever he would ask her.

She was an awesome help.
Both mentally and physically.
But especially mentally.

It was so nice to know one person that thought he could do it.

Many late nights they would work many hours.
And some days the artist would work through the night.
And then one day it was finally done.
The artist and friend had completed the swing.

So they loaded his truck,
and set out toward, the queen.

What a marvelous journey.
Made better with a friend.

For three whole days the queen examined the thrones.
There was a much larger selection, than she had ever before seen.
And the thrones were much nicer, than ever before.

Some were beautiful.
Some were comfortable.
Some were functional, quite so.

But slowly and surely she would find in them a flaw.
Still, when she found the swing she got rather giddy.
Oh how she loved it.
So original, so sturdy, but did it really swing?
She called for her guards
They hoisted her up.
She sat in the swing, She didn't fall out.
But as the guards let go of things the swing started to tip,
just ever so slightly.
Then it stopped.
She started to swing.
It really did work.
The court was amazed.

Who was this great man?
And whence did he come?

Soon people could she what the girl had supposed.
The man had succeeded, and the throne was impressive.

Still the guards had their doubts,
yes the swing was atilt.
Would it really be safe?
Could it really be used?
By and by the queen decided a different throne would probably be best.
But the impossible swing had been swung in.
And largely in part because one girl believed.

warnser said...

P.s. A special thanks to Longview fiber. (they make good cardboard)

Cardine said...

"But gladly she did whatever he would ask her."

Interesting. Was there anything in the relationship for the girl? Or was it just the pleasure of doing whatever the guy asked her?

Really, I get what you're trying to say. You just need one person to believe and support. Isn't that what everyone needs, even the girl?

julie said...

I'm glad the story applies to your post. Good moral, especially if you keep in mind the last sentance in Cardine's last comment.

Question: why is it there's always just one person who believes in the hero/heroine?

Observation: you have interesting punctuation.

Thanks for finishing the story. :)

warnser said...

Hmm, that's odd, I thought I already wrote some comments, but poof, they are disappeared.

I don't know, she wrote that line.

oh and good point why aren't people more supportive.

thaks for your comments.
p.s. julie please email me about my punctuation. I am curious about it.
oh yeah and I have something else about punctuation but I will tell you when I reply

julie said...

I emailed you, but you haven't replied. :)

Anonymous said...

Good story. You should make it into a book/movie.

Of course, you may have to expand it a little to include the friend's story - What were her original plans? Did helping build the swing fulfill any of her goals?

And... does it end there? What will happen now that the swing is finished? Is the next project also an artistic venture?

warnser said...

Maybe I could use the condensed version for a picture book,
and then really soup things up for my movie. what a lovely idea. Thanks for your comment,
oh and it doesn't end there,
but I'm not a huge fan of the ending, so I ended it there instead.

As for the girl,
I'm guessing she was an altruist.
I think (but I'm not sure), that she helped because she "wanted to help." and because it needed to be done.
She was glad to do it,
because it wouldn't have been as helpful if she was compelled against her will.

I could research it, but who has time for research. That's why it's fairy-tale-esque.

Anonymous said...

So, if you're still checking the comments on this post, I'd like to ask a question. Was the throne story completely made up or did aspects of this actually happen?

Anonymous said...

Hmm, in 3-D design, someone in my class made a huge cardboard rocking horse. It was pretty cool.

warnser said...

Um yeah let'say it was based on a true story.

No it's not to late to comment,
This is my real blog,
and the others, are just fluff,
(oh and I wanted to see if I could get my ads to change.)


3d Design?
I don't know what your talking about.

(Ok, I admit it, 3d Design was an influence in the creation of my fairy tale, Ok, a major influence I guess I'm not that creative after all.) but I still like the story.

And many thanks to Pro. Harris.
I don't think the story really does her justice,
but maybe the movie will.

Speaking of movies, I may be starting a new service,
but ask me next year.
ttfn

Anonymous said...

My mom used my cardboard chair as the birthday throne in her kindergarten class for a few years after I made it. And this really big guy made a cool chair where he just rolled up all these cardboard sheets into a big swirl shape, and it totally held his weight.
The rocking chair was the most original, but if you made a swing, that would totally trump that.

warnser said...

your mom used yours as a throne?
that's soooo cool.
Yes I think I remember a big swirly chair.
so what was yours?

Anonymous said...

Unfortunately, my throne had a very poor design, as I made the whole thing the night before. I got done at 6 AM, and then slept for a bit. I was an hour late for class, but luckily it was a three hour class. THere were some others in class that had stayed up all night too, either in the art room or at home. One guy they kept trying to call him because he was asleep and hadn't woke up for class.
My design was based on 1. a small time frame to build it, and 2. a limited amount of cardboard. I got most of mine from behind businesses around town. I thought I was clever in using triangle shapes to support the seat so I didn't have to use too much. I left spaces where you could see down in how it was built, but SUsan thought it looked unfinished. She told me I could have full points if I spent another day on it.
When I gave it to my mom, I painted it so it would look cooler. It worked well for kindergarten because the seat was very small.
I have a pic of the painted version. If I get your email from someone, I'll send it to you.

warnser said...

I'm still here,
yes, I'm still checking these comments, I didn't realize that I had written so many times lately,
I will try to write more when I get back home.
W

Anonymous said...

I hate how blogger erases my comments whenever I try to log in after commenting.

I was going to say that at first I thought the story was involving that 3d art class because I remembered people making those cardboard chairs and such.

Lydia said...

About the cardboard swing story:

The punctuation is interesting, as Julie mentioned. I think it adds to the fairy tale effect. Punctuation is one of those things you have to learn in order to make sense, but after that some people can break the rules and make even more sense! Your punctuation and format are pleasing to the eye as well as the ear, I think.

Now, a question about the story itself:

Do you think the young, tall, smart and rather nice artist would have built the amazing cardboard swing if he hadn't had the help of his believing friend? I don't that he could have, but would he?

How much of his plan did the artist reveal to his friend? Couldn't the believing friend have helped more if she'd known more about the plan, even if it kept changing?

How similar do you think the cardboard swing story is to the artist's current "impossible dreams"? (I used that phrase because I like the impossible dream concept from the "Man of La Mancha"