The Wednesday Five: Five Things About Women

I know, it doesn't quite have the ring of the Friday Five, but I just made the connection, and I'll admit it, I thought it was funny.

More specifically this blog is not "Five Things About Women," but rather "Five Things that I Look for in a Woman."

I'll admit I'm not perfect, and I really don't expect a perfect girl,
but there are some things that I value, and ideally I'd hope a person could do well in these things... better than mediocre or average. (Average is such an interesting word, because average is solely based on what other people are doing. The reality is that merit in some of these areas is not dependent on what other people are doing. However; the reality, that carries with it even greater sadness, is that in some of these areas, average is not always good. To that end I am looking for better than average; simply put, good or better).

#1 Are they modest?
Obviously everyone (aside from Europeans) is sort of modest. But, somehow a lot of people (pardon the pun) are short on modesty. Some of the best counsel that I've heard on the subject comes from a man I know, I'll call him Brother Grant. He gave a simple test based on a beloved primary song. It's called the Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes, test. If you know the actions this test is quite simple, if not this test is, well, simple. I'll explain it to you (as Brother Grant explained it to me... more or less, hey my memory's not that great Ü) First it is best if you can do this with a mirror, a full length mirror is really ideal, but be forewarned, you might be surprised by what you see. Now take your hand and put them on top of your head. Simple right? Right. Now check the mirror? How's you're belly? Can you see it? Hopefully not.
This next step as you might guess Involves great feats of physical strength... like touching your shoulders... OK so it's not that hard. Touch your shoulders. Cloth or no? You should have a sleeve there (perhaps something like I may have mentioned in a thing a way way long time in the anti-future).
Half way done, hey that's not bad.

Knees... You know the drill take your hands (plural) and touch your knees. Man this is easy!
Ok so you got clothes there? You should have something, but this is only a third of the test here. You've got two more places you might be showing more than you should: I'll give you a hint they start with 'Sh' and end with 'irt.' It should also be noted that this one comes with a corollary. See if you're not wearing an outfit with legs (meaning you're wearing a kilt... or a dress, or a skirt, or a wrappy thingy) The rules actually change a little because you're knees really, really need to be covered if you're in that situation. Especially when you sit down. Still covered.

And toes. Yep touch yer toes. Again see anything? What if you turn around? Does that change your answer?

And tight clothes does anybody remember that part? It's like Barry Nelson as 007. Like nobody remembers that guy. And yet he was a bond. Much as it is with tight clothes. Modesty ≠ tight clothes. 'nuff said.

So, can they pass brother grant's test? Can they pass it with flying colors, 'cause that's ideal... and super rare.

#2 What's their intelligence?
Now I'm not going to say that this is just about IQ, but I'm not going to lie, a good IQ is um attractive. Sure I want someone who's smart. I also recognize the value of other intelligences, but I like some one who excels. As the inimitable Napolean once said –You know, like… numchuck skills, bow-hunting skills, computer hacking skills. Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills!" Ditto. Girls should have skills too.

#3 Can I Communicate well with them?
Yes this one is very related to the last one. I like people that I can communicate with. That I can communicate with well. ü

#4 Are they Healthy?
My dad was just told that he may have to take insulin shots for the rest of his life. It's not exactly the kind of news he was hoping for, but it's something that he probably could have prevented. My dad has taught me many great things, like how to fish, and how to be the envy of every other campsite at the Fathers' and Sons' Outing, and how to play freecell, let's not forget freecell, but my dad has also taught how important a persons health can be, and how unpleasant it can be when your health isn't tip-top. I know I could use some work here too, but healthiness is something I value.

#5 Where do they put the things of the Lord?
I found like a bajillion quotes on the importance of Family Home Evening, and how we may have lots of great things that we are doing, but the most important things are the things that the Lord has asked us to do. But alas. I'm tired. So I'm not going to take the time to say them here. Besides you know the story. It's not like this is something new. But I want someone who really values the things of the Lord. More than work, more than George Wythe, more than their friends or their MLM scheme, more than anything.

And now... ah, sleep.