Et Tu Brute?

"I could be well mov'd if I were as you.

If I could pray to move, prayers would move me.

But I am constant as the northern star

Of whose true-fix'd and resting quality There is no fellow in the firmament

The skies are painted with unnumber'd sparks;

They are all fire and every one doth shine But there's but one in all doth hold his place

So in the world; t'is furnish'd well with men And men are flesh and blood and apprehensive

Yet in the number I do know but one That unassailable holds on his rank Unshak'd of motion:

and that I am he.

Let me a little show it even in this

That I was constant"

It seems somewhat ironic, that Caesar was proclaiming his constancy
while Brutus was in turn saying Ceasar, to me you have outlived your worth.

And said Caesar 'What even you?'

I've thought a lot about this lately.
Sometimes a friend is just a friend, they pass through our lives, and our lives just pass through them.
Still there are other times, sometimes rare, where a friend is something more. They are constant.  They are true. They really are a friend.

As I've thought about this I realized that true friends tend to have some similarities, here are some of the things that I think they tend to be.

A true friend is: Optimistic and Loyal
At first this may sound a little odd, but I really believe it is true... at least in some ways it is.
When I think of my true friends,  they believe in us. They know that we can do great things. True friends do not judge us or try to find fault. They do what they can to give the benefit of the doubt.  And yes they even stand up for us when others may not. They don't just assume the worst, because someone says it, or even when things don't go quite as planned.  A true friend is one who stands by you when times are good and when they aren't. A true friend is someone who cares about you, even when you're not around.


A true friend is: Enduring
This I think is an extension of the first point.  True friendship is a friendship that lasts. I think it lasts in large part because of the things already mentioned. I think it lasts because true friends care more about their friends than the little things that could tear them apart. And yes sometimes even the big things.  My best friend and I have been friends for almost 20 years, (if you read this in a few years we'll be really close to 20 years). I can't say things have always gone as I planned, but I can say this. We're still good friends.  We still talk every now and then. Time and space have not pulled us apart.  I'm not sure anything could (though I'm thankful his wife did not try.  Ü Instead she welcomed me too, and now I have more friends). A true friend remembers you as a friend and why they are your friend, and they do what they can to make things endure.

A true friend: Doesn't expect anything
I guess it's ironic in a way, a true friend doesn't really expect anything from you, but they are the ones who are most likely to receive things.  It's not about what they can do for you, just that they are there for you, and they would still be your friend if circumstances were different.  I had a friend that came to town a few months ago, sadly we did not connect. It would have been fun to see my friends, but our friendship is unchanged.  We are still good friends, and we will hope for better circumstances in days to come. But neither he nor I expects the other to bend our plans so we can meet up. This is not to say that many times we do not bend our plans, because usually we can, and such occasions are great, but sometimes things don't work the way that we would like, and that's ok.  We are not friends because of what we get from each other, but because we get each other. True friendship is not self-serving or one sided, it's something that enriches you on a deeper level, where everyone can be benefited.


A true friend: Gives and Forgives
A true friend may not actually have the capacity to give much, but a true friend would give whatever they could to a friend in need. Sometimes we can't and that ok, but sometimes we can and that's ok too.  There are many things that we can give but perhaps the one thing that we have to give is forgiveness. As I mentioned before a true friend will give you the benefit of the doubt.  And even still still times we mess up.  Sometimes we forget.  And sometimes we are mean.  Sometimes we don't even know that we messed up. And sometimes we do. I love what Joseph said when William W. Phelps came back to him and the church, "Come on dear Brother since the war is past, For friends at first are friends again at last."  True friendship does forgive. We all mess up, but our friends are the ones who still know who we are. The ones who still find good things about us. And yes the ones who stand by us and stand for us.

A true friend: Cares
This is the crux of the message, a true friend is one who really cares.  One who thinks about you, and understands you.  This is I think the most important section of this message, but it is also the one that is hardest to express. This is also the message that can be found throughout, each section here mentions some things that deal with caring. In a way true friendship has to be selfless and Christlike. It is hard to express what exactly this means, but perhaps even harder is actually doing it.  But this is what a real friendship is about.

Of course it wouldn't  be my blog if I left off the bit about how important communication is, but that is a blog for another day. Needless to say I think that any true friendship involves communication.

Thanks to all of you who are my friends. I know I'm not perfect, but I'm glad I have you. I really do appreciate all that you are to me. I truly have an amazing wealth of good friends in my life. Thanks to you for being my friend.